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/r/longreads reacts to a New Yorker article which posits that cutting off your family entirely for minor issues is bit silly, actually

https://old.reddit.com/r/Longreads/comments/1f4xj6d/why_so_many_people_are_going_no_contact_with/

								

								

The New Yorker article is called "Why So Many People Are Going "No Contact" with Their Parents" from August 30. It discusses the trend of millenial and Gen Z kids who completely estrnager themsleves from their parents for often unspecified or relatively minor issues. Being "toxic", or conservative, or not being 100% aligned with the current stance on gender. The author is very nuanced and interviews one young woman estraged from her family and also compares her to other online stories, while also reserving empathy for parents confused by this. /r/longreads is a sub for posting long non-fiction articles. It's not /r/raisedbynarccists or one of those shitty JUSTNO fanfiction subs so one would expect a rfairly balanced reaction to a complex issue, right? The sub's whole deal is digesting complexing information.

Nah. Comments are filled with people trauma dumping their ridiculous family conflcits for all to see. One commenter longposts about all their bullshit mommy issues, and describes the reason for their estrangement thusly:

>The straw that broke the camel's back with my mother was my wedding guest list. She wanted to invite my stepfather's entire familyβ€”people I hadn't seen in more than 15 years and had only met once. I didn't say no, I said I need to figure this out in terms of cash flow because our venue only accepted cash or cheque and it was due 9 am the day after the wedding. I couldn't put it on a credit card, we needed a mountain of cash in the bank and we were piecing it together methodically based on 75 people not 105. I pushed back a little bit and she lost her entire mind. She stopped speaking to me and I for once I didn't apologize immediately or back down. Thanksgiving came, nothing. Christmas came, nothing. Then Covid swooped in, canceled my wedding, and turned the world upside down. Nothing. year and a half later she told my sister she didn't understand why I wasn't speaking to her. It's been almost 5 years now.

Man, I still don't understand the reason why. Your wedding was dramatic and people wanted different things so you didn't talk to your mother for five years?

Another comment:

>This was more of a fair and nuanced take on adult child estrangement than other articles of late, but toward the end it falls into the same rug-sweeping logic that ultimately befalls people trying to examine this "trend": judging the reasoning for the child's estrangement against a standard of extreme physical or sexual abuse while also holding very tender and empathetic space for the emotional pain of the estranged parents.

I don't really understand how you could write an article discussing a child separating from their parents without explaining that, no, the parents were not abusive in the way the majority of people consider to be 'abusive'.

>I hate that they suggest that Amy is being dramatic because she wasn't "abused" or "beaten" but yet her mom told her she's going to heck? Her family won't get vaccinated and her brother calls her a psycho for getting married in a place that requires vaccinations? Her parents are typical religious wing nuts and people like that don't truly love their children.

Redditor's reading comprehension is zero. I don't see how one can read the article and think the author is calling anyone abusive. Where does it imply the parents don't love her? Even "Amy", the journ*list's interviewee, doesn't believe that. So much seethe.


Basically, the article goes into depth in gently challenging some of the gosoel beliefs of the 'no contact' / 'raised by narcissist' communities, including the fundamental belief that it's impossible for a parent to understand or make up for whatever grievance their child has given as the reason for their estrangement. What do redditors do? They simply post links to the books and articles that the author has clearly read and lightly refuted.

>To balance things out, here's Issendai's wonderful "Down the Rabbit Hole: The world of estranged parents' forums"

etc

The longer your scroll in the comments the more filled with sneed and less intelligent they get.

Anyway, here is a great example of the orthodoxy of reddit being challenged and the resulting cope and seethe. Enjoy.

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I think this problem goes back a bit. This was a generation raised by the public education system and tv. The parents both worked all day. A lot of these people were basically roomates with their family.

Add modern day social media and its easy see how people think its nothing to go no contact over anything.

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