Elderly dramachad writes mildly droll oped about disagreeing with your friends and evading the social blowback from drive-by hot takes. R-slurred boomer subscriptioncucks sneed predictably in the comments.

Full text for poorcels:

If, like me, you find yourself in a politically mixed marriage, being out in the world with your spouse can bring its share of difficulties. This is especially true in an election year.

As an undecided voter on the center-right, I'm the ideological odd man out in our crowd. Most of our friends mainline MSNBC. My wife has developed several coping strategies over our 50 years as a couple.

Usually, when we're getting dressed for a party or dinner, her first line of attack—or self-defense—is to ask: "Can't you just lie?" But for better or worse, I'm a terrible liar.

The truth is that I haven't decided whom I'm voting against yet. This makes me a target. People want to shame me into voting their way. This serves only to dial up my wife's anxiety to 11.

She employs her second line of attack as we're parking the car. "Just don't be yourself," she says. I do my best, but I usually can't make it more than half an hour as someone else. When the act falls apart—"Dan brought up school choice, not me!"—she tries something else.

The "apology card" is an idea lifted from the clever wife of a friendly Reform rabbi. It's a business-size card that reads: "Amy Weiss wishes to apologize for her husband's behavior on the night of ___." She fills in the date with a pen. Lately she has been handing out so many of these that she's taken to carrying a date stamp in her purse.

People get a good laugh from the cards. That usually takes some heat out of the situation. Usually. It didn't help that time I defended Bibi Netanyahu, but when people storm out mid-dinner it means more leftovers.

When I'm out and about without my wife's patient companionship, I've had to figure out a few techniques of my own. My go-to is some sage wisdom from my childhood friend Ronnie, a physician. He told me that at our age it's not, "Is something wrong?" but rather "What's wrong?"

With this in mind, I follow up my political opinions with unsolicited mention of my medical condition. "My doctor says I should be careful not to let myself get too stressed," I say. Most people will respect this and opt to skip the argument.

When they don't, there's always the nuclear option. I happened on this beaut while I was talking about the Supreme Court with my friend Ira. I mentioned an upcoming Cleveland Clinic consultation about my ticker. Ira's anger about my opposition to court packing instantly morphed into deep concern. "Now Ira," I said. "Do you want to be right about Chuck Schumer or do you want to be responsible for a ruptured aneurysm in my ascendant aorta?"

Mr. Weiss is a carpet salesman in Pittsburgh.

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Choice comments editorialized with reaction Marseys

Jim Dorsey 19m ago

[I can't imagine being married who was the polar opposite of me politically, as it means we didn't share the same values, lived by the same principles. And anyone who tries to shame me for my beliefs is off my list of friends.

And, if my spouse found she needed to apologize for me, she wouldn't be my spouse any longer.

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Charles Pierce 31m ago

Great piece. Liberals are always wrong. A libertarian.

Sarah Born 11m ago

Libertarians are massively confused.

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Harold Peterson 1h ago

Your wife and friends respect you and your opinions enough to make you and your beliefs into a joke.

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Roger R 1h ago

I just express that I think Trump is an abomination and that I will be writing in Nikki Haley. Most people are accepting of that.

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Maurice Hakim 1h ago

I suggest you take one of your carpets and roll your wife up in it. What you do next is up to you, of course. I know what i would do.

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James Spinuzzi 1h ago

People who can't handle civil groomercord are weak minded and their bloodline is weak. If you need a safe space from another opinion then you are the problem. Because weak people will ultimately take issue with the people they can't argue with and this in turns to political violence as we've already seen.

Terry Olsen 1h ago

Weak people use insults. This was an article with humor in it. Get over yourself.

Kenneth Hamric 50m ago

Watch out Terry... James has a 'strong bloodline'! ;>

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MICHAEL BALL 2h ago

My first thought is that your wife shouldn't be apologizing for your politics, even as a joke. My second thought is, how can you have such strong political opinions, and still not be able to see that Trump is obviously the lesser evil here?

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Lisa Beerman 2h ago

Sounds like both Mr. and Mrs. Weiss are good eggs of wit and maturity. I'll refer some of you to Jerry Clower 'Laughter Cures All'.

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Frank Hopper 2h ago

Get your woman under control. The only people who watch MSNBC are brain dead and you need to wake them up. The hate and vitriol of MSNBC needs to be stopped. I hope trump takes their license along with PBS/NPR; nothing but lies and subliminal brain washing with every word they choose.

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Scott Lorinsky. 3h ago

Cute, kind of.

The writer is the father of Bari Weiss, the founder of the magnificent The Free Press.

Mr. Weiss is significantly more successful than the Willy Loman-esque description as a "carpet salesman".

[Idk what Marsey to use for a Bari Weiss simp, but I thought this was an interesting note]

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CO Snowman 3h ago

As the kids would say "BRUH." Why would you openly admit to this? Dude needs to divorce his nutty wife. It's fine to be different, but this is next-level weird behavior

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tl;dr: crazy old people are funny and it's worth $1-2 a week to read the comment section on Wall Street Journal articles