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I lied on my Tax Return. What are the chances I'm gonna get audited and assraped

I made about $14k USD last year. I did dabble in stocks and crypto (and lost $8k) but due to the wash sale rule I couldn't even get the max $3k deduction. So for my crypto stuff I just lied by filing as a single statement instead of a summary of statements, added the deposits together as the cost basis, then added the withdrawals together as the proceeds. So I now have the max $3k capital loss deduction.

Because I'm a poorcel, surely they won't find out. Right? All this did was increase my refund by about $200 USD.

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Is your effective tax rate below 25%? No? Don't worry about it.

Fricking respect the wash sale tho.

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Technically my crypto was done over a year through various purchases and sales, but this was on coinbase pro which didn't provide me a 1099 so I said frick it and just added up the Deposit / Withdrawal tabs like a monkey. Honestly even if I wanted to be honest I don't think I would have been able to provide an accurate report, because I messed with so many currencies at so many prices, there's just no way I would have been able to keep track of it.

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