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They were killed because we allowed a furry to walk free instead of arresting him for his many hideous crimes. The connection between murder and furries is well-established. Ed Gein was a furry. His fursona was the saggy baggy elephant. Adolf Hitler was a furry. His fursona was a wolf. They found furry imagery on Osama Bin Laden’s computer. Joshua Acosta and Frank Felix, both proud outspoken furries, killed at least three people together. The Warsaw ghetto massacre was committed by furries. Dillard and Jacob Berkovitz killed a man and a dog to make the ultimate fursuit. The viking berserkers were furries. Benjamin Smith, who goes by the fur name Polybun, murdered a woman in Portland. The Roman emperors would put on bull costumes before raping people on stage. We have allowed this ancient bloodsoaked conspiracy to continue too long. How many more must die before we tale action against the furry menace?

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