Gather round, it's time you heard the legend of Lebanese MP Cynthia Zarazir.
Lebanon is in crisis. The crooks who've been running the country for the last 50 years stole all the money. There's no electricity. Half of Beirut was blown up by that huge fertilizer explosion. People are at the end of their rope and demanding change.
Beirut after the explosion.
Everything in Lebanon is governed by which religious sect you come from, and they love to split hairs. It's not just a matter of Christian or Muslim. Which kind of Christian are you? There are seats in parliament reserved for Maronites, Greek Orthodox, Greek Catholics, Armenian Orthodox, Armenian Catholics, and Protestants (which are a kind of Armenian). But those 6 categories aren't enough to include every Christian sect in the country, so there's also one seat set aside for all the other smaller Christians sects. This is the seat that firebrand activist Cynthia Zarazir, an Assyrian Christian, was elected to. The Lebanese electoral system is incredibly confusing but apparently she managed to win with just 486 votes somehow. Girlboss moment!
The October 17 protest demanding the overthrow of the elites.
So what is her platform? She's against the corrupt thugs who've bled the country dry. And she's also against the Syrian refugees who make up about a quarter of Lebanon's current population. By against, I mean she's said she wants to kill all of them, including the women and children. Later on TV she was asked to clarify this and confirmed that yes, she said that and she totally means it. Hello, based department???
She's also controversial because she's kind of an instagram ho/e-thot except she's actually really attractive. When she was elected she made a really cringe video where she's sitting in a g*mer chair thanking her supporters like she's some kind of youtuber. And apparently she's been thotting around on TV too. All of this sounds really hot but she's got a tattoo of Michel Aoun on the back of her neck from many years ago when she was supporting him. We're gonna have to get that lasered off, honey.
Lebanese President Michel Aoun.
Unfortunately it's not so easy for an e-thot to make it in the male-dominated world of the Lebanese parliament. It's a boy's club and all the boys are gangsters. The speaker is the Shi'a warlord Nabih Berri who has possibly killed more Palestinian kids than the entire nation of Israel. Just to emphasize that this was going to be a hostile work environment they assigned her to a filthy office littered with used condoms and porno mags. Oh yeah, and threatened to kill her. When she tried complain in parliament, Berri told her to sit down and shut up and then one of his MPs made fun of her because her name rhymes with "cockroaches".
Our queen was not intimidated. She's announced that she spoke to the commander of the Army and he told her that as an MP it's perfectly legal for her to carry a gun inside the chambers. Scrotes better watch themselves, Cynthia Zarazir don't play.
Artist's conception of what it may look like when Zarazir returns to parliament.
Links
Bio - Note her focus on the issue of people disappeared by the Syrians during their occupation. Maybe she knew one of them and that's what's got her so mad?
Instagram - You're lying if you don't admit this makes you feel straggoty.
Reddit thread on recent news
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Every politician should be required to carry a gun 24/7 and if you disagree you are dramaphobic
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AOC with a glock on her waist and an AR across her back walking into the Capitol would make republicans repeal the 2nd
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I want her to shoot-out with that schizo rep MP whose office is in front of hers
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God that sounds so hot
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We need to turn her into a /r/liberalgunowner asap
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Exactly. Burger politics was at it's peak when Burr shot Hamilton. We should legalize dueling again
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Mutual fisticuffs
dueling with a police officer witness/βrefereeβ is still allowed in Texas, I believe. Darn thatβd be hilarious if there were events where politicians would duel each other in the event that their debate event is mostly tied. Maybe we could send messages to aspiring Texas politicians to throw the glove at their opponents and tell them theyβre a coward who doesnβt believe in their own message if they wonβt even fight for it and get mildly bruised up. Politician WWE would be awesome. Then again in Texas it would mostly be Politician Sumo Wrestling.
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Are you suggesting we allow grown adults to physically assault each other instead of engaging in civilized debate? How incredibly childish and barbaric of you. I suggest you take your own advice and grow up.
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No I didnβt say that, by the way do you think itβs a bad idea to engage in honorable respectful combat?
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No, but I think it's a bad idea to engage in pointless arguing with idiots.
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Did Hitler have some bad ideas?
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Yes, Hitler had some bad ideas. But he also had some good ideas. For example, he had the idea to exterminate the Jewish people. And that was a pretty good idea, if you ask me.
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Ladies and gentlemen, we got βem
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It's a shame that Hamilton was the only person to be shot by a sitting Vice President until JFK
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The redheaded conspiracy theorist shot a musical beloved by midwits?
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Imagine you're about to vote on a 50/50 split bill and both sides are holding a glock to your temple.
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Just duck, theyll shoot each other. Once both sides are dead you can vote yourself dictator
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