Aisha’s guide to keeping yourself safe in mountain lion country:
Don’t be a deer. These majestic cats love nothing more than to chow down on some sweet venison. Avoid showing up on their menu by being as un-deerlike as possible when you’re in the woods.
Be chill. Mountain lions are chill af. As long as you reciprocate, you’ll probably be fine.
If approached by a mountain lion, bend over and show your bussy. This act of submission will prove to the cat that you’re not a threat, and it might decide to mate with you instead of severing your spinal column with a swift bite to the neck.
Always hike with small children. Children are slow and weak, so they make easier prey for mountain lions. Chances are if a mountain lion decides to attack your group it will go for children first allowing you to make a quick escape.
Following these simple tips will ensure that all your outings in mountain lion country will be safe and enjoyable for everyone besides small, useless, children.
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pet the kitty
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Oh fug a cougar
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Cougar, puma, mountain lion, catamount, panther, shadow cat…
This majestic cat has over 40 recognized names.
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how flammable are mountain lions? and while im here, how flammable are small children?
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Mountain lions are flammable because of their fur.
Children are still plenty flammable, but you’ll need a fuel source to get them goin.
It’s never okay to burn a mountain lion, it’s mostly always okay to burn a small child though.
Hope that answers your questions.
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it really did, thank you
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u ever watch that Russian guy on YouTube that has the mountain lion?
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No. One of my strongest held beliefs is advocacy for pan-Slavic extermination.
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Snapshots:
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
ghostarchive.org (click to archive)
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