I think my partner of 8 years wishes I was white

Throughout my pregnancy he has been asking me if I would dye my hair blonde, says I would suit it. He shows me other girls with blonde hair of a similar skin tone to me.

>Ask him to stop commenting on your hair, period. Seems like a fetish.

>you get over it by leaving him. bleaching jet black hair will ruin it and it will take forever for your hair to recover from that. don’t do it so instead just leave him. he clearly wants a certain type so i think you would be better off with someone who loves you and your hair just the way it is

>OP mentioned her childhood loathing, which MANY minorities experience growing up in a white washed world. I myself have experienced this as a biracial woman (black and white) and it’s something that never leaves the back of your head even after discovering self love and acceptance. It sounds like this asking of him is triggering to that part of her. That’s the part that needs to get mentioned in my opinion, since she’s particularly expanded on it. It’s one thing to not appreciate your significant other to change what you look like (especially for a woman) but to feel like he’s fetishizing you and as a ethnic woman with mainstreamed unnatural features that can be a whole other resentment to be unleashed. OP please talk about THIS part of your feelings, he may not understand (let’s face it if he’s a white male he can’t) but if he really loves you as a person and mother to his children he will want to try to make you feel beautiful for who you are and how you are. If you make it about just the appearance change I’m afraid the real problem will be buried until a later time. Besides your children need to hear how perfect they are the way they are too one day… Those scars never really go away, I feel that sis.