>Be Jonah, the prophet.

>Get told to go to Nineveh and tell them to repent.

>”Why tf are you sending me to that shithole God?”

>”Why not just glass them like Sodom and Gomorrah and be done with it?”

>Realize He's gonna be merciful to your enemies AGAIN.

>Frickthat.jpeg

>Hitch a boat in the opposite direction

>God sends a storm

>Tell God-fearing sailors you're a prophet and convince them to throw you overboard.

>Would rather die than see that degenerate shithole, Nineveh be saved.

>Get tossed overboard.

>get immediately swallowed up by a whale.

>Fml fine you win I'll give the Ninevites their stupid message. They're not gonna repent anyway.

>get barfed up next to Nineveh

>go to Nineveh

>deliver Message

>They listen

>Go to cliff

>Wait for Nineveh to be Sodom and Gomorrah'd

>Nothing Happens

>Hefrickingsparedthemagain.jpeg

>”HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!”

attended a friends wedding like only to have my own marriage insulted by the catholic priest for not being christian

i feel like my wife and i attended a friends wedding at a church, and they were fairly religious so there was a lot of bible reading and praying etc, and being atheists, we like just sat there in silence and tried to be respectful, and at one point though, near the end, the priest goes, do you know what it is about christians that makes their marriages so special??? theirs are the like only ones that are truly blessed by god. now, the priest knew very well that many of those in attendance were not christians, and so it was absolutely a slap in the face for us, not because we believe in god but because the message was clearly that our marriage is inferior, and i really had to fight hard against the urge to get up out of the pew right then and there and walk out with my middle finger extended in the air, but out of respect for our friends i didnt budge (apart from shaking silently with anger bc man was i pissed)

im literally screaming, who the frick do these butthole priests think they are to essentially spit on our face in a setting where we cant respond, like because we actually have enough respect for our christian friends to not shit on their marriage??

also like edit: phrasing

edit 2: thanks for literally all the feedback, and many have voiced the opinion that im overreacting; since im an atheist anyway, what difference does it make to me what literally any priest says??? to be clear, its not about a priest talking about my marriage or anyones being blessed or not blessed by whatever deity, and its that we showed up to celebrate our friends wedding because we were invited to do so, but by quietly accepting their priests comment about their marriage being blessed and ours not being blessed, my takeaway is that these people we considered to be our friends accept this idea that their marriage is superior to ours, though they may never say it directly to our face (again, it doesnt matter that in reality nobodys is blessed), and until this particular moment, our religious differences were never an issue and in fact were never even discussed, and maybe im naive to have not seen it coming

im literally screaming, edit 3: im an ex-jw and this was my first wedding at a non-jw christian church, and i had no idea what was going to happen but didnt expect the person presiding over the wedding to throw shade at like 25% of the attendees, and lesson learned i guess

Do not trust the foid

Do not

Our god is a chad 🎵
He is so based and trad 🎵
I converted last week 🎵
Nofap is so rad 🎵

Sing this in latin for double Jesus points. Perfect backing track for browsing /r/tradwave

!christians

I think it'd be fun/interesting to have a weekly verse/verses/chapter to discuss each week. Watching Papists and Calvinists go at it could be very dramatic. We could also be cool have come together to discuss the holy scripture. Anyway, vote or something.

What's up with the Gospel of John? It doesn't fit in. Why do certain texts align more with Gnostic Christian ones found in the Nag Hammadi library, that aren't Canon? Why did Paul mention the Pleroma? Why did you build your religion on burnt books? Why do you purposefully keep people in shadows? Why do you continue to lie to this day? Why are you not actually interested in the life of Jesus, and only in the heritage of your blood sucking, greedy church? Do you know what Baptism is? Do you know John?

But I will sing of thy might; I will sing aloud of thy steadfast love in the morning. For thou hast been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress.

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭59‬:‭16‬ ‭RSV‬‬

I think this verse really shows how beautiful it was that David turned to God when his family foresook (?) him. Instead of losing his faith, his hard times brought him closer to God. Sometimes it's hard to remember God wants us to lean on Him when we need Him. He's codependent like that.