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QuadNarca what/ever  3mo ago (reddit.com) 1,183 thread views #246263

This is the most insane part of Papism, if you don't eat your cracker which is Jesus' literal body btw, you will get chased down by angry lunatics :marseyemojirofl:

https://old.reddit.com/r/Catholicism/comments/1arev95/something_strange_happened_at_mass_yesterday/
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Do you think Jesus' literal body had an insane Priapism?

:#marseycrucified: :#pepejesus: :pepoboner:

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One time I wanted to know about an ancient Greek village in the Troad named Priapus. I didn't realize what the meaning was. My first result started with

THIS IS A BLOG ABOUT GAY S*X AND PRIAPIAN SPIRITUALITY.

So I think that guy would agree.

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Darn you for making me laugh! I'm supposed to be repenting for Lent!

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If so, it just makes me respect him more

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If the bread is literally the body of Jesus then does my body turn the lord into poop?

Funny to think masses of people used to kill each other over such questions.

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What I was thinking of what happens if the person is sick and the seconds after eating the Jesus cracker he vomits it back out, does he have to lick it up from the floor, and from the priest's garment because not even a crumb of Jesus is allowed to end up outside of people's stomach.

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:#marseyquestion: :#marseyhmm: :#marseyhmmm: :#marseyconfused:

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If the cracker ends up in any other state other than being eaten that is sacrareligious, because it's literally torturing Jesus because that's his body.

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AND WE STILL SHOULD BE

:marseycrusader#:

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used to kill each other over such questions.

https://media1.tenor.com/m/THBEPh_iE1IAAAAC/final-fantasy-vii-remake-cloud-strife.gif

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The consecrated species retain the outward appearance of bread and wine even as there is a true, real, and substantial presence of Christ's body and blood.

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/r/catholicism is super different from the rest of reddit...everyone there is hyper-conservative and trad and VERY eager to prove to everyone else that they're the best most strictest catholics ever

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It's a real thing with Catholicism that the young people are the traditionalists and radicals. It's not even the LARPers on Twitter (they don't go to church), the youth raised in the faith (who don't stop practicing in college) are the most devoted to it.

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That's a pretty small percentage of zoomers tho, most zoomers care way less about religion, than any generation before them.

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So...catholics

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Check out the AA sub some time

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I was raised Lutheran and we have communion like Catholics but no one is weird about it because we just ate it up front lol.

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I was about to say, I grew up Lutheran and the pastor always said that's a metaphor and you didn't have to partake if you didn't want to. Not the literal fricking body of Christ :marseyxd: Catholics man

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I grew up in an East Orthodox denomination and was taught it is a metaphor. No clue why Catholics think it is literally :marseyjesus: but they are fricking kitties about it. You will never be as weird as Orthodox Chadstians.

I've seen priests of my church eat the communion that comes out of babies mouths.

Our communion is warm water and wine with pieces of bread floating around and the priest CAN NOT allow any to be spilled.

The priest breaks a chunk of bread off with this long butt spoon and its basically a soup. So it falls out a lot.

Nieighbors are lucky if they catch it on the cloth they hold.

THESE WILD NEIGHBORS WILL EAT IT OFF THE FLOOR!

:#marseyorthodoxsmug: :#gigachadorthodox: :#marseybegoneprot:

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Why be this anal when it's a metaphor? Are you sure that wasn't just starving ruskies desperate for a meal?

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Russians wish they had watered down floor wine with baby spit and chunks of soggy bread.

Also, it's the holy sacriment. Apostates like you might not understand this, but the divine liturgy is kind of a big deal in Christianity.

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I like the hats the eastern orthodox uses

:#marseyorthodox:

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George Costanza detected.

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Going through Orthodox school (catechumen), they just teach it is a Holy Mystery and call it a day. All that matters is you eat it:

In the Orthodox view, all of reality—the world and man himself—is real to the extent that it is symbolical and mystical, to the extent that reality itself must reveal and manifest God to us. Thus, the eucharist in the Orthodox Church is understood to be the genuine Body and Blood of Christ precisely because bread and wine are the mysteries and symbols of God's true and genuine presence and manifestation to us in Christ. Thus, by eating and drinking the bread and wine which are mystically consecrated by the Holy Spirit, we have genuine communion with God through Christ who is himself “the bread of life”

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26 And as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the disciples, and said, Take, eat; this is my body.

27 And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, Drink ye all of it;

28 For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins.

29 But I say unto you, I will not drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine, until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom.''

Wow, Catholic's practice something from the bible. So fricking weird, amirite?

R-slur.

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Idk how you can read that and interpret it as anything other than a metaphors, but because I wasn't kittywhipped into believing that fire and darnation exists for everyone who doesn't fill out their clerical work properly I don't have to know what the original intent was. Seethe more

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metaphors

jesus: DO THIS

non-lutheran-protestants: BOYSSSS I DONT THINK HE REALLY MEANT IT

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Neighbor you r-slurred, the metaphor wasnt the 'DO THIS' part, the metaphor was the 'this is my body and blood' part

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You are the light of the world.

:#marseyandjesustalking:

Omg! He must mean we're literally glowing!

:#marseycrusadetalking:

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Have you ever heard the expression "blood sweat, and tears"? Do you think that's part of the concrete in the Hoover Dam and stuff?

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I was about to say, I grew up Lutheran and the pastor always said that's a metaphor and you didn't have to partake if you didn't want to. Not the literal fricking body of Christ Catholics man

bro, lutherism keeps to the same faith as catholics about the Eucharist. if your pastor said so, consider burning him at the stake (ironically, because this is /h/atheism (otherwise iw doul have been (unironically)))))

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:marseycopeseethedilate:

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>we just ate it up front lol.

Which is what Catholics are supposed to do.

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Man i was raised catholic and even though we still had the "body of christ" thing it was normal to not want to lick priest's fricking fingers and just take the communion in hands and eat it when you get back to your seat idk whats wrong with those weirdos over here

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You have to eat it basically as soon as you get it, the Host might otherwise be taken to be desecrated. You can't be too safe these days

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Lutheran and we have communion like Catholics but no one is fricking weird about it because we just ate it up front lol.

When I took communion they just gave us the fricking cracker and I ate it in the fricking pews.

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But the rules are the rules and for good reason since we can't tell whether they're protestants making that simple mistake or a witch trying to make off with Our Lord to desecrate in a black mass, we have to respond to everything the same way.

:#marseyxd:

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Yeah that comment made me lol. Black masses became one of those infamous scary elementary school urban legends spread by adults, along with stuff like people giving you drugs for free to get you addicted (where are they?!)

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I've run into quite a few stoners who would offer me free weed and demand that I smoke with them. They just couldn't stand it if I didn't join them.

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No, some drug dealers genuinely will offer you free drugs. It's not an insidious marketing scheme, though. It's because they're losers and that's the only way people will hang out with them.

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I wonder what happens at a Black Mass

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/17080698309829905.webp

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I infiltrated one at site in a forest in Germany around 1417. They had all kinds of events going on. Like witches riding around on broomsticks and people dunking their heads in a stream in some profane mockery of baptism. The worst was that they had some unbaptized babies ready to put in the stew. One of my friends is a priest and he did a quick emergency baptism when the cooks weren't looking. You should have seen their faces when they realized their ingredients were ruined! :marseylaugh:

Oh no wait, I did all this in the sprawling epic 1992 RPG Darklands.

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The subdeacon brings forth the chamber pot and presents it to the nun, who has come forward. The nun lifts her habit and urinates into the font. As she passes water, the deacon addresses the congregation

Then they stick a wafer in a naked lady's girl-peepee while somebody rants in French about how Jesus is fake and/or gay.

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The Eucharist is the literal body, blood, soul, and divinity of Christ. You don't think we'd want to ensure it's treated with proper respect?

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What happens if you find that someone spit it out and it's on the ground, would you eat it in that case to treat it with proper respect?

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Are literal actual witches going around trying to steal it like this reddit guy is saying?

https://i.rdrama.net/images/17080314635283074.webp

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That's what I've been told. Hot commodity at the supposedly ubiquitous black masses that happen all the time

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It's probably easier to get the unbaptized babies these days.

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Why would god even care, he is literally god.

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It's not that it weakens God, it's that the congregation failed to respect and protect the Holy of Holies

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Yeah, witchcraft is probably more popular with zoomfoids than Catholicism is. Most people who walk off with their Eucharist don't have any malicious intent but it's better to be safe than sorry.

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LUTHERANS BELIEVE IN THE EUCHIRST YOU MORONS

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Proper respect is eating it and pooping it out?

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