What profession did the mean girls from your high school choose? : CasualConversation

You ever face the existential horror that the closest thing to happiness you might get is a lukewarm marriage to a fat nurse with annoying kids that don't respect you? By 40 you'll almost certainly have a colostomy bag and your liver or kidneys will probably start giving out. It won't even matter that you won't be able to see your peepee. Just sitting there for your free hour on Sunday trying to enjoy your one lite beer a week you're allowed to have if you want to live past 50.

Your wife starts saying some shit about some Facebook post that's screenshotted a Reddit post that she says is saying she was a mean girl in high school. Your stepson grabs the remote and changes the channel to his Xbox to play Fortnite. "Where does that b-word get off. I'm doing great. I make more money than you, ha, ha" your wife snorts. She sits down next to you and snuggles up eating a family sized bag of potato chips. Her phone chimes and she pulls back, awkwardly trying to cover up the message you can clearly see because the hambeast can barely rotate. Someone named, "boo" has texted her.

Your son suddenly shouts "NEIGHBOR, FRICK YOU NEIGHBOR" at the videogame on the screen, at which point your wife shouts at him to not be rude, the cacophony makes you think about what you could have been. You think about the beam in your basement and the rope you used to tie down the Christmas tree on the roof of your shit minivan every year.