added pizzashill award (makes the recipient have to type more than 280 characters on every post/comment for 24hours, stacks and costs 1k)

The idea was inspired by someone on groomercord suggesting the opposite. This, however, I thought would be unfunny and lame, and came up with what you see here instead.

RIP the twitter generation that cannot write anything more voluminous than an SMS/tweet

give someone longpost pizzashill award

they fill comments with random crap to meet quota

report them for spam

Should rename it the pizzashill award

Change its name to pizza award

You're on a roll today

It should check for repetition

Best award ever.

Darn that's a wild one. I was thinking more Hobbesian war of all against all stuff funny, fun--yet no Silicon Valley types of last decades would have ever considered them.

Good thinking.

Why is eating a cow better than fricking it? I honestly don't understand bloodmouth logic.

Frick a cow:

1. It forgets it 10 minutes later, tops.

2. It might even enjoy it.

3. No harm is done unless you're like, super rough I guess? A bull peepee is 25 inches long, your sad little human peepee isn't going to disturb a heifer.

4. In a vacuum, once the s*x is done, the cow can go on and live a full and complete life with the r*pe having 0 impact on it.

Kill a cow:

1. It's dead.

2. It's dead.

3. It's dead.

4. It's fricking dead

Snapshots:

• archive.org
• archive.ph (click to archive)

what's the character count when longpostbot kicks in?

Is this enforcing mockery?

@pizzashill what an honor!

YEESSSSS! This is fricking awesome!

You've activated my trap card. I am more than capable of writing 280 words. I've written 2000 word college essays late into the night. I realize that I inhabit the fine line of age between the millennial and zoomer groups, but I vie for a higher existence than perhaps many of my age peers. I want to finish my BS degree, get a job befitting of my ability, and continue my pursuit of building my personal wealth; all in the end pursuit of obtaining financial freedom (something that unfortunately many never achieve) and freeing my efforts that they may be put elsewhere. To aid in this pursuit is the very reason why I hone my vocabulary and writing skills by writing such paragraphs as this on the internet.

Can we also make it so they can't post again unless they reply to every response they get in a thread?

Also give it to pizza permanently since it wont affect him anyway.

This award would kill me

I want to buy a set of pruning shears that I can use on the low effort bilge, often pinkies, in my threads.

Like if you got a problem with something I said and say it plain, that's the whole point. But the performative non-reading of my topics is funny half the time. The other half you need a big downvote.

But only if I designate the thread so people can rise to better behavior. Or at least, play with the edges of the censor I would thus wield, which is still better than the same repetitive bilge which engulfed reddit.

I could also trim irony poisoned shit.

Lmao this is absolute

Lmao great idea

I can’t wait to get this award

That's hilarious

do i get free ones to hoard?

Aww but I just wasted my coin unstickying klevastergan

This is going to be the most confusing award ever for anyone who's new and wants context lmao. It's also a bad idea because the rest of the community is going to suffer when they have to continuously scroll through Lorum Ipsum or whatever the awardee pastes in.

suggestion: add sorting comments by words words words (comment length) in user profiles

so we can see their greatest spergouts