.webp?h=8 "Merry Fistmas!")
TIL you don’t need to make elaborate mixtures of carrots, tomatoes and lettuce inside the bait part of traps. You can literally just drunkenly slather peanut butter on the outside of the bait bit and they’ll still go for it.
Do not be fooled by his pleading eyes. I tried to give him a Beggin Strip and he HISSED AND GNASHED HIS TEETH AT ME. He was very soft though.
He has now been freed into the forest and the garden will be marginally less tore up going forward 
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Pet him
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I did very cautiously and quickly like a frightened child and escaped with my fingers just in time.
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Should have shipped him to
@WootFatigue for colonization
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I was actually hoping he’d see this thread so I could ask for advice on making them less angry so I can maybe pet them more than very briefly
I feel bad doing it because they obviously don’t like it but I like to give them a lil touch
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You’ll be able to pet her starving babies
when they show up looking 
for mommy.
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That always worries me :/ is there a way to tell male or female without flipping them over?
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stop being a bigot
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You can see the male’s peepee
hair sticking down like on a dog. Female 
raccoon 
pusseys are right 
next to the butthole like on a human, but the peepee 
is way up where 
you’d expect a belly button 
to be. The males are also thinner in that area.
There are a lot of “Cute baby raccoon
sucks belly button 
while purring” that are really just unintentional autofellatio vids.
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If you do find babies
my ex lives 
right 
by you and will take them.
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He probably seduces them with food. Food from his breast that is.
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Get…tits…out…for…raccoons.
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Shooting them like the vermin they are seems productive
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They’re menaces but they live here too, that’s RUDE. I take them a few miles into the woods and unleash them in the same spot near this creek so if they’re family or friends they can still be together.
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Based and
pilled
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WEINERS. YOU NEED GALLONS OF UNCOOKED WEINERS
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You've made a powerful enemy this day.
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One of these frickers killed mango and we’ve been putting traps out ever since. We use wet cat food to bait our traps since we have plenty of it and it’s pretty effective.
Once we caught a dead raccoon in one of the traps I can only assume the door shutting behind it caused the poor creature to have a heart attack and die.
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Are you sure he wasn't just walking
around with a cyanide capsule in his teeth 
to avoid 
being taken alive?
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Secret Chinese raccoon spies are real I fricking knew it
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(((raccoons)))
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I want to pet a skunk someday
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Omg
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I smell them all the time but I’ve never seen a live skunk. They seem VERY PRETTY.
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They're very very soft. They still have a bit of a smell if you get their glands removed but otherwise very chill. I haven't had one but I know someone that did
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The goal is to one day have a fox or three but you need a frickload of land for that :(
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Import those semi-domesticated Russian grey foxes. I believe in you, carpy
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!coonlovers
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When the primates are gone from the earth, raccoons with their intelligently designed hands will inherit the earth.
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the cutest timeline
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Duh Neighbor, they fricking eat garbage you cityslicker r-slur
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peanut butter and/or marshmallows. whoever made you think
you had to come up with some fancy thing to catch 
a raccoon is a city dwelling idiot. 
also, there
are another 10 to 100 that will be in the garden.
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The veg mix has always worked before!!!
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raccoons eat ACTUAL GARBAGE
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET FANCY
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He looks very cute and also not very fat compared to all the obese raccoons who live around me in sububia
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He's so cute!
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Carp have you ever tried not being a butthole to raccoons? Maybe invite them over for some dogs next time
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The cooon
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Apologies
@WootFatigue
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Nice post, bro! I posted it to twitter.
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