A neoliberal professor was teaching a class on Adam Smith, known free trade and capitalism enthusiast.

“Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Adam Smith and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!”

At this moment, a brave, anti-trade, left-wing populist who had posted 1500 comments on /r/AntiWork and understood the necessity of Made in America and fully supported all dictatorship opposed by the United States stood and held up a graph of Cuba's GDP per capita over time.

“Why has Cuba's economic growth been stagnant since the 1960s, pinhead?”

The arrogant professor smirked quite Zionistly and smugly replied, “because socialism fails to create material prosperity, you stupid leftist”

“Wrong. Cuba has been trapped in poverty because of imperialist US sanctions. If, as you say, capitalism is the best model of economic development … then Cuba's literacy rate should be lower than America's.”

The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Why Nations Fail. He stormed out of the room crying those corporate crocodile tears. The same tears neoliberals cry for the “global poor” (who today live in such luxury that many have clean drinking water) when they jealously try to claw justly earned wealth from deserving American automobile union workers. There is no doubt at this point our professor, Noah Steinberg, wished he had taken a stance against corporate greed instead of being a GDP supporting sophist. He wished he had a union-made, domestically manufactured gun to shoot himself from embarrassment, but he himself had lobbied for NAFTA!

The students applauded and all registered Green Party that day and realized Biden and Trump are just two sides of the same capitalist, colonialist coin. A foreign despot named “Critical Support” walked into the room and shed a tear on the chalk. Manufacturing Consent was read several times and Bernie Sanders himself showed up and made it illegal for Blackrock to buy houses across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He was later executed during a proletarian uprising for opposing rent control and thrown into a lake of fire for all eternity.

Solidarity forever!