Tomorrow I will slowly eat a half a bottle of oxies between bites of Haagen Dasz Pina Colada ice cream while getting head from a 19yo twink.
I am paying him a handsome fee to suck my peepee for 6 hours straight.
I have informed him that I may "fall asleep", but not to stop sucking because I want a wet dream. At some point he will realize I'm not actually sleeping.
Edit: This post is a joke. It's the internet you r-slurs lol.
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Will u Venmo me money before u die
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No, I have a rule against helping poor people. Sorry.
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I'm actually not poor, just greedy.
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If your bank account has more in it than mine, I will Venmo you whatever my Venmo balance is (63k$ last time I checked).
But it doesn't, because you're a poor.
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I hope you're joking and don't actually have $63k sitting in venmo
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I had 100k in there. That's whats left from a couple weekends of get togethers.
A good bottle of whiskey is at least 2k.
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Will your money to the capy when you die but only if he perfectly recreate your preformance tonight
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