Tomorrow I will slowly eat a half a bottle of oxies between bites of Haagen Dasz Pina Colada ice cream while getting head from a 19yo twink.
I am paying him a handsome fee to suck my peepee for 6 hours straight.
I have informed him that I may "fall asleep", but not to stop sucking because I want a wet dream. At some point he will realize I'm not actually sleeping.
Edit: This post is a joke. It's the internet you r-slurs lol.
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You know, I watched this documentary about people jumping off the Golden Gate bridge to commit suicide. And in it they interview the few lucky people who jumped but managed to survive. And all of them without an exception said that they are glad to have survived, and one of them said something that sticks with me, that as soon as his feet left the ground and he was falling he had the biggest realization in his life: that all of his problems were solvable except for the one he now faced as the water came hurtling closer down below
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if i jumped the only realization id have would be "why didn't i do this sooner"
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The weak breeze whispers nothing
The water screams sublime
His feet shift, teeter-totter
Deep breath, stand back, it's time
Toes untouch the overpass
Soon he's water bound
Eyes locked shut but peek to see
The view from halfway down
A little wind, a summer sun
A river rich and regal
A flood of fond endorphins
Brings a calm that knows no equal
You're flying now
You see things much more clear than from the ground
It's all okay, it would be
Were you not now halfway down
Thrash to break from gravity
What now could slow the drop
All I'd give for toes to touch
The safety back at top
But this is it, the deed is done
Silence drowns the sound
Before I leaped I should've seen
The view from halfway down
I really should've thought about
The view from halfway down
I wish I could've known about
The view from halfway down
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This happened to me except I tried to just walk into the ocean and drown so it wasn't super hard to change my mind at the last minute. Life is good!
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Ur gonna traumatize that poor boy wtf
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At least live stream it so we can watch the full six hours. We can take bets on when you actually have your 'wet dream'
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Set me up with an account somewhere and I will. I have a USB camera in my closet.
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Pay me 10000 DC first
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In that case, DO IT CUTE TWINK!
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After reading your reply I have decided that I am no longer joking.
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Alright. If you want, I'll suck you to death for a million dollars.
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There's nothing more unattractive than a poor begging for money.
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Age?
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pre-wall 20's
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Pick one.
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I look young
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!cuteandvalid is this how I should end it?
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This is ugly indulgence, you should transform into something beautiful and fleeting
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I hope you get the help you need, truly.
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You should probably meet some people in real life
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Will u Venmo me money before u die
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No, I have a rule against helping poor people. Sorry.
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I'm actually not poor, just greedy.
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If your bank account has more in it than mine, I will Venmo you whatever my Venmo balance is (63k$ last time I checked).
But it doesn't, because you're a poor.
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I hope you're joking and don't actually have $63k sitting in venmo
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I had 100k in there. That's whats left from a couple weekends of get togethers.
A good bottle of whiskey is at least 2k.
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Will your money to the capy when you die but only if he perfectly recreate your preformance tonight
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seriously. don't do that. please.
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It will be funny when you die and shit yourself halfway through and he will still have to keep sucking your peepee for another 3 hours
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It's gotta suck to be gay. Strags can just focus on fricking successively hotter women but our fallen bros have to concoct diabolical scenarios to feel any sort of progression
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