I worked in a pharmacy in Germany serving Americans (aka fats) from 2008-2010. Fat, American veterans were my most common patients and as such we had a lot of diabetics. Being a pharmacy owned by the government we sometimes did drug trials. A comically large Type 2 diabetic I'd been serving for years 
brought me a medication for semaglutide (our hero, ozemspic). We knew it was coming as we had received the shiny drug trial medication earlier that week.
We hand him the 4 auto injectors for his once weekly doses, the pharmacist goes over some side effects and what to look out for and we send him on his way. To return next month for his next 4 injectors.
Drug trials were fairly rare and I still thought medicine was cool back then so I did a bit of research and the drug sounded cool. It was made by studying Gila monsters. Something about their saliva being a poison to help them hunt or some shit. Idk it's been years.
But the main take away is that in 999% of cases type 2 diabetics ate themselves to that point. 
If a TD2 will lose weight they really aren't fricking diabetic anymore. (as evidenced in an unrelated medical study where hookworms can cure them too, not enough willpower to quit eating so the hookworms will do the digesting while you keep goyslopping)(https://science.slashdot.org/story/23/08/22/230234/hookworms-successfully-prevent-type-2-diabetes-in-human-trial) Well semaglutide makes people lose weight nearly 100% of the time. It makes you have no appetite. You almost have to force yourself to eat.
Well when next month came I barely even recognized him. 
Our heroic fat had lost 39 pounds. THIRTY NINE FRICKING POUNDS. Over the next six months, he dropped over 120 pounds. Not changing his shopping, or restaurant visits. Only taking ozemspic and just EATING less because he wasn't hungry. He didn't even realize it was his eating less that made him lose it and his understanding was that the drug was doing a version of lips almost lmao
in 2019 it got approved as a weightless drug. In 2020 it was the 129th most prescribed drug. in 2022 it was the 7th.
it changed the fricking economy of denmark
Diabetics can't even get the drug because the fatties are begging their doctors for it en masse 
Where's the drama?
Anytime a celebrity loses weight recently the internet screams OZEMPIC (and they're right, especially with the really crazy weight change ones).
They've also coined "ozempic face"
[Screenshot 2023-08-30 at 9.16.45 PM.png]
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subtweeting ozemspic users
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Fat celebs we've been robbed of due to ozempic
Obviously not the Schumer 
Anyways if you don't think this shit is gonna have dire consequences you're very naive 
She says she magically lost this walking 20 miles a day.
She's lying
Is this how normal people feel?
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Slim people complaining about ozempic is no different than artists complaining about AI.
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100%, !thin anyone thinmaxxing know how to get on this shit if you're not fat?
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If you are already thin just learn how to fast. I don't eat until dinner time and stop 2 hours later. I think it took 2-3 weeks to get over the initial hunger.
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It's 100% successful. Challenge is it makes working out in the afternoons difficult since you don't have much in the way of short term energy reserves
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Or just generally count/estimate calories and be active
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I do both.
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Apparently you can buy raw semaglutide as a research chemical and dilute it yourself for pretty cheap.
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go to a trans positive doctor and explain that you identify as fat
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Slim people need to put on muscle if they want to flex on the ozempicels
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TLDR everyone will stop being fat fricks, comorbidities will plummet, healthcare won't have to fix all the fatties anymore
GLP-1 agonists should be a human right and in our water supply so we don't have to look at or deal with fats
P.S. Martin Short just looks like Martin Short
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Forced injection to fatties only. Non-fats should be able to make their own choices.
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We need a fat registry so we know who is fat once everyone is thin, I don't want to accidentally interact with a spiritual braphog.
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That's why we Stan for our god ozempic face
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This is so true and so sad.
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I lost hella weight by shifting all my macro intake to a 1:1 mass of protein:fats, which is ballpark of getting 35:65% of your calories from them. I ate as much as I wanted if I was hungry, and my appetite suppressed to the point I had to force myself to eat 1200 calories in a day. Essentially deep keto. I ate lots of hard boiled eggs, string cheese, and peanut butter.
Pretty easy and quick and cheap. Minor discomfort in the first week after you deplete your glycogen reserves.
Do GLP-1 agonists essentially force you into keto? The effects people describe sound very similar.
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I lost a ton of weight just making seafood the main part of my diet. I have so much mercury in me I bleed out my eyes when it's hot but I'm thin!
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They say the average mass of your atomic structure is with about $5. You have to be worth around $7.50
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Bet your shits and fart stank and u were prolly all backed up
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Deep keto makes it so you poop like 2x a week and they're tiny, but you never get constipated unless you're gay. Basically you turn into Nibbler from Futurama. My farts ruled.
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I'll be the judge of that
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The only smell I got in deep ketosis was a lovely acetone note to sweat and breath
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Not necessarily. it really just kills your appetite completely (in some cases permanently). So some people go into ketosis because they are basically fasting. But you're supposed to at least force yourself to eat so not normally.
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Well shit, some redemption for the fat caste. Hopefully they all nooootice what it's like to have a normal appetite and then become evangelists for ridding the world of the goyslop that makes people fat.
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They will only notice that this is how normal people feel (for the most part, normal people also feel hungry and resist the urge to stuff their faces).
They won't notice that they would probably feel normal too if they'd never got so fat in the first place. It takes years of training your body to expect 4 double-doubles for lunch.
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Even when you only eat once a day, the mcgriddle is primo goyslop
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Just eat glass you fricking r-slur
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There's been some severe side effects such as kidney failure because of the drug, so don't go killing normal people in your haste to solve the fat problem.
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Isn't there stomach paralysis or cancer or something?
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That's the other one, I couldn't remember the name of it.
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We're talking about americans here. Fat people are the normal people.
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That's Jiminy Glick not Martin Short
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Martin Short is Martin Short, and Amy Schumer is Amy Schumer is Fat as Frick and Always Fat Amy Schumer.
Don't forget to turn off signatures in settings!
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Based. Total Fattie Death
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I call bullshit on the "I totally tried a strict healthy diet and didn't lose any weight."
If she was eating what she says she is, then she would have no excess sugar to spike her hunger.
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People think keto is this weird extreme fad, but it literally cuts out the thing that's easiest to convert into fat, and the thing that spikes your hunger, and the thing that too much of causes permanent insulin resistance.
Deplete the sugar reserves from your body, it takes 5 days, and then enjoy watching your body ravage your fat stores for your brain's primary source of food.
Keto diets are how bodybuilders cut and get shredded before tournaments. They start eating carbs again to gain weight in the training season.
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I had a chubby friend that tried keto and it made a noticeable difference fast.
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I did it for 7 months a few years ago and lost 30 pounds. I agree it's the best diet if you're trying to lose weight. The downsides of it were having to obsessively count calories and balance your diet so it has an approximate percentage of fat. I also had to cook twice a day almost every day because all the premade stuff you can buy at the store sucks in one way or another. I was lucky I already liked eating stuff like canned fish and avocados and shit like that, because if you don't like healthy fat, you'd be better off with some other diet.
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I did this bulk cook every couple weeks. Eggs, cheddar, ground turkey, crushed bacon, mushrooms, half n half. Season it how you like. Mix it and bake it in muffin tins.
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This sounds pretty good, ngl. I'm not pooping on your instructions here, king, but is there a website with the quantities etc I can follow?
Gonna be cultivating mass again once summer ends and this sounds like just the thing for it.
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Since I cook it in bulk I do CostCo quantities. You'll need a couple of very large mixing bowls.
60 eggs. Make sure they're all whipped before you add other incredients
5 lbs shredded medium cheddar (comes in two 2.5 lb bags). I used to shred white cheddar but this saves so much time.
7-8 lbs ground turkey. Their packages vary a little bit, usually it's a 4 pack and I use them all. I really want to emphasize taking it after it's cooked and running it through a blender. I really like the change in texture.
5 lbs bacon. Not the precooked stuff. This takes a long while to chop and cook. I used to save the bacon grease to cook other stuff in. You can even brown the turkey in it if you like.
1 lb mushrooms. I can't remember he weight but I use a big thing of them. This helps fill out the recipe and expand to make tons more without adding calories.
1-2 cups half-n-half or heavy whipping cream. This is just to your liking, and it won't make a ton of difference, just something to dial it in your way.
Do the eggs first. They'll start cold and then get to room temperature before cooking, always a better more even cook. Then do the bacon, then turkey. Then chop the mushrooms.
Start mixing this together. By this point you'll probably have to split it into two big mixing bowls. That's when I add the cheese since it comes in 2 bags and it goes in evenly.
I'm trying to remember the exact cooking instructions but I think it's 350F for 25-30 mins. It could actually be 20-25 mins. I have four muffin tins and I use two at a time, one on each rack. Halfway through I swap them in the oven and rotate the pans. Once there done I set them to let cool while I throw in the others.
This is an industrial scale operation and I spend half a day doing it for this much. For a while I ate only these for lunch and dinner and they lasted me about 2 weeks.
You can get the same macros from just string cheese, but this is something nice and hot that freezes well and makes you feel accomplished for doing the effort.
Good luck!
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Unfathomably based.
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I always start with that lmao
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Your pulitzer's in the mail
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That sounds pretty good even if you're not on a diet.
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I freeze them and reheat them. They're like the first time every time. The trick is to put the ground meat in a blender instead just using the larger chunks. That's just a detail I discovered over time, not really mandatory, but I like the difference.
Each one is 100-120 calories depending how you portion them or balance the ingredients. Four make a meal and they're wicked filling.
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Do you blend the mushrooms too?
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It tried once and they turn into slime. Just chop fine.
I only blend the ground turkey.
I find chop the bacon while it's still cold and uncooked then fry it in a big pot to reduce oil splatter
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Whenever I talk to these people, the culprit is usually that they don't count snacks, which make up half of their calories lol
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TSMT
THIS THIS THIS 
I have a female relative who thinks she took so many good supplements that she rarely, has to eat. She only eats breakfast and supper, basically. She flexes on facebook about "intermittent fasting" and how it fixed her life.
She walks in the house and eats jerky and popcorn and granola bars on fricking autopilot while scrolling facebook and it totally never counts because she didn't eat much breafast and "mamma needs a jerky stick yall i burned a lot of calories this morning whoo boy" (eats SIX OR SEVEN FRICKING things in succession)
and every time anyone (including her husband who is so sick of it all) points out that she ate 1000 calories of snack food it never counts that day for reasons or "omg you're just being mean to me" even though she does it ALMOST EVERY DAY, it's always an exception
she's always complaining about her husband making fun of her too and she calls him unhealthy and it's so awkward and obnoxious
This is who controls the nutrition narrative in the facebook cabals of middle age women 🙄
This lady isn't even fat. Just annoying.
I've seen actually fat people eat WAYYYY MORE FRICKING CALORIES and then be in disbelief they ate anything because they shovel food in their mouth whenever exposed to a TV, and they watch a lot of TV, and eating snack food while watching TV is a fricking human right or something and should never ever count
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Ma'am we've been over this before. You need to stop.
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you're telling me I spent a year losing
like 100lbs when I could've just gotten legal pharma 
drugs!?
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You would basically have to be on the drug for life if you used it or you would bounce back to being a fatty.
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I love how fast body positivity went out the window as soon as the shame of their bodies was harder than just not fricking eating so much. They never liked their bodies, they just liked eating more.
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Yeah exactly. No one is "happy" being fat. There are only people who dont care about it.
If you placed every fat people in front of a button that instantly threw them back into a sane BMI, no trick, 99% would press it
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This is hilarious and true. People where I used to live were obsessed with Peloton for a short time but the fad ended and the company got in financial trouble.
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yeah the problem with peloton is it's an actual workout and you have to keep doing it
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Uh, sweaty.
The problem is the $3000
exercise bikeconversation piece in your main room isn't in style anymore.Jump in the discussion.
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Why would you have it in your main room?
Is your summer house being remodelled?
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That is why have a rowing machine and tell it's practice for boating
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Good news. Peloton do one of those too.
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I wonder if I could get one on cragislist for cheap now..
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There's a type of person that jumps wholesale into these fads with the most disturbing of enthusiasm and it's really quite telling about human nature to watch it happen, they really commit.
It's very very weird to be honest
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You see this with employees for culty companies and with some HR. Every company they work for is the best company they've ever worked for and always wanted to work for.
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Killing babbys didn't help peleton either
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Outside of rich bitches wanting to lose 10 lbs. stealing the beetus meds from hamplanets with only 4 toes left, I don't care how anyone did it. Less fats is good. Just think of all the future extra space on airplanes and elevators.
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this also reduces carbon emissions aggregately.
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Do you think Bardfinn takes Ozempic? I didn't read a single word btw
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has it lost a lot of weight or something lemme look
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Yeah Bardfinn has been a pretty big loser… of weight
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Id say yes but he probably cannot afford it.
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Yeah Bardfinn just uses meth instead. Also don't misgender trans people just because you don't like one of them
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Record is 1 days 13 hours 09 minutes and 59 seconds by TheDunceonFlorist
We've got Bardy fever! today we have mentioned our favorite mod 42 more times than usual!
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Record is 1 days 13 hours 09 minutes and 59 seconds by TheDunceonFlorist
longest streak broken in the last 7 days was C*m-death which was 0 days 11 hours 04 minutes and 43 seconds
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Probably doesn't have health insurance
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I don't know, I think Bardfinn's job provides insurance
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Record is 1 days 13 hours 09 minutes and 59 seconds by TheDunceonFlorist
Best friend is SpittingScrapmetal with 69 mentions
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Shit posting quota complete
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Of course. Bardfinn is a gigachad.
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Record is 1 days 13 hours 09 minutes and 59 seconds by TheDunceonFlorist
Top 10 bard respectors:
SpittingScrapmetal: 68
ACA: 62
Bimothy: 33
XY: 30
BimothyX1: 30
911roofer: 26
pp: 19
arsey: 17
Mallovendus: 17
BigBussyHunter: 15
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7 Day trend:
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Epic screenshot fail.
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dumbest
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THE DEEP STATE IS TRYING TO TAKE EFFORTPOSTERS DOWN. Q WARNED US.
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It's actually because of karma, b-word. For all the times you forced new sorting on us
And you keep doing it
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I can't help it! I need to break the cycle but it's a habit now since I've done it over 1000 times.
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Allow me
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ALL MY POSTS TODAY WERE SORT BY HOT. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW YOU INSTIGATOR.
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Yes 💞
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