My parents keep fat shaming me

I'm 27(f) and my parents have been fat shaming me for years now, the situation hittig an all time high around 3 years ago. Every single time they see me they will call me fat and just ridicule me in front of everyone.

I started gaining a lot of weight in university. Was depressed. It was covid and I ate as the only way to keep myself sane. I'm not completely overweight (maybe a size UK 14 to 16) but I do have trouble fitting clothes and I admit that I have fat around but steadily it's been getting worse.

It got bad when I had my graduation and I wanted to wear a dress but for months my mum kept insisting I should wear my work clothes aka pants and a shirt. I really wanted to wear a dress and went to buy one eventually but when my mum finally cracked that she thought I would look fat in it I nearly flipped. I felt so mad about the fact she wanted to take away one of the most important things in my life all because I had belly fat.

Then comes visiting them for a family vacation and every single moment my dad would nag about my weight. I would drink juice and he said I would be fat. I couldn't even buy things with my own money especially food and the entire trip I just spent wishing I could go home. He wouldn't stop even though I screamed at him to mind his own business. Ever since he had a healthscare he became a health nut, lost a lot of weight and always wanted to force me and my brother to slim down but if anything it just made us not care even more.

Now I'm visiting my brother for his graduation and the entire time he and my mum kept criticising me about looking fat. My mum even went back to the whole wanting me to wear my work clothes which I loathe to the max to keep my fat hidden. I twisted my foot the day before too and my dad kept putting it down to me being fat instead of the fact the curb was uneven and I was trying to move out of someone's way when I stepped to the side and slipped. I gave up arguing with him and he kept droning on and on about how I should lose weight. He even made me promise to lose weight which I told him I am not making empty promises I will not keep and that's on top of him nagging me to change jobs and me not being ambitious enough for the future.

My family members are generally on the thin side so I do stick out when it comes to weight. I abe tried everything since I was young to lose weight but whatever I tried doesn't work, if anything it gave my body more problems like feeling even more exhausted or sleep deprived of trying to do running before class and not having enough to eat. Weight is just one of the aspects my parents always compare me to with my parents and I absolutely hate it.

I am so sick and tired of being fat shamed. Makes me hate myself so much but I do not have the energy after work to go run or do work outs because of my work schedule making me hard to fit time in to do it. I already cut down my food and my partner has been trying to help too but right now I just feel I rather die than have to deal with my parents health bullshit. I had a period where I was so stressed with work I didn't eat and lost quite a bit of weight and when I told my parents how miserable I was, they gleefully told me they're happy I'm losing weight and that I should continue like this when I was losing my mind and contemplating suicide. They were so disappointed when I was happier and gained back the weight I lost after that which was why I never call them and pretend they never existed.

This hasn't been the only aspect my parents tried to control. They would force me into religion that I had no love for and force me to do things like hang out with people I absolutely hate. My parents have been comparing me to their friends or females in the family especially when it comes to accomplishments and looks. I always had the sense they were ashamed of me and wished I could be the holy smart beautiful daughter like everyone else. It's a miracle I even have a partner who loves me for who I am and even said I am beautiful despite everything my parents paint me out to be and joining in trying to lose weight with me.

The only plus side is I live in a different country for work and it gives me an excuse to not deal with my parents by not calling but whenever I have to meet them in person, this shit happens.

What do I even do? I'm so so so tired having to balance everything in my life and right now my main focus is my job and my weight isn't the main concern on my mind.

!foidmoment