Hey all, I just wanted to vent a little. It's incredibly hard for me to date since I'm trans. I used to not declare it on my profile and only shared that information, when I'm already chatting with that person through the dating app (early on) but since that has gotten me a lot of transphobic remarks, aswell as insults, I put it in my profile.
Now the problem is, I understand most lesbians won't date transbians, because of their genitalia, which makes sense, and makes it unlikely to match with another lesbian, but rather bisexual/pansexual women. Now I have gotten into a lot of matches thinking the other person is also into women, but usually it turns out they are just bi-curious and state that I'm "the perfect thing in-between" which is so incredibly insulting. Most of them don't see me as a real woman, but something in-between woman and man, because of my genitalia, which gives off chaser vibes.
I don't know how to go about this. If i don't declare I'm trans, I don't get chasers since I pass fairly well, but get a lot of hate when outing myself. If I do declare it, most of my matches are by bi-curious chasery women.
Idk what to do :( it all sucks so bad I just want a cute gf that doesn't see me as a man. (Most of my previous relationships also stated that they never saw me as a woman, when they broke up with me. Or I found out that they were actually into men and never liked women at all.) Help? :')
here is their pic. how many filters do you think they used?
Maybe you could try a sassy approach to dating app profile text? Something like: “Transwoman looking for a lesbian relationship. Chasers, bicurious flakes and transphobes need not apply”.
guaranteed tons of matches with this
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idek get what they want.
they want to date a woman. but not a woman that is a "chaser" ?
what does that even mean? they are dating in bad faith?
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Something that doesn't exist.
Sweaty. Get with the program here. Of course that's it.
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The entire point of transitioning is changing how other people perceive them. They think of themselves as losers/failures in the context of "being a man" so they want to social expectations that women have. Any hint that the person they are talking with still perceives them as a man makes them feel like a loser again.
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