Help! New wife has crippling debt.
Throw away for hopefully obvious reasons. I just got married yesterday, and last night my wife drops the bomb on me that she has $160k in debt between school, judgements, cars and credit cards.
I have 120k in investments and 30k in savings. She's pressing really hard that it's “our” money now and she's expecting me to withdraw everything and put it towards her debt, per Dave Ramsey who she's been apparently following for years.
Not gonna lie, had I known this I wouldn't have even thought marriage to be an option. How should I approach this? We're filing with the court later today if that makes a difference. Admittedly, I was incredibly pissed when she told me last night and we haven't talked since then.
Edits
News was broken, she left in a firestorm. Broke a lot of things on the way out, and was telling me things like she plans to sue me for wasting her time and pain and suffering 😂 it's shitty, but onto the next I guess. Thanks to everyone for giving me advise on this!
alright, I'm not going to file with the court. I'm gonna break the news and I'll keep you guys posted! Thanks for the help!
Lots of questions asking why we didn't discuss finances before getting married. We did discuss them a year ago when I first proposed, and she told me she was debt-free.
lots of questions about her judgements. I don't know what they're for, but there's 4 of them totaling 55k
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lmao looks like the moid was saved
if he loved her enough he wouldnt have posted that anyway
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Issues like this is fixed with prenups. Always having written agreements about keeping the finances separate is always good to go. Solves all economical issues current and future.
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Prenups have been made into toi-let paper for decades and offer literally zero protection for assets. They're actually more harmful because she can leverage at any time that you abused her and manipulated her into signing, that it was done under duress. You're actually safer going in raw and hiding assets in family trusts (if you're European, that doesn't even work).
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They do work but it is the issue of poor contracts and not keeping finances separate. That duress shit does not fly work proper lawyer work.
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It depends on if it's a genuine divorce where you split or an actual divorce r*pe. The actual divorce r*pes are pretty much impossible to defend against unless you're embedded in the family court system itself and know the ins and outs, the women that do them plan them for years in advance.
It also depends on where you live. Germany, France and the Scandinavian countries have an absolutely more horrific family court system, maybe due to the Napoleonic law system.
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Divorce r*pe is very unusual over here. Normal problem is that a lot of stuff needs to be explicit written
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Just dont divorce
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I really meant till death do us part
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T. Youtube Lawyer. Inducement of marriage through fraud alone gets him out of this easily without shackling him economically to her.
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I don't know, I've only read Steven Baskerville's stuff on the divorce industry and family courts. I'm not a lawycel
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I live in Belgium and here you can make a marriage contract at a notary to say who gets which assets in case of divorce.
Very common for inherited houses.
Pretty bulletproof iirc
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Have you ever heard of this little friendo?
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Thats because they're written by (((New York lawyers)))
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without Jews you lose
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It also is a terrible start to a marriage and basically telling your wife you don't trust her
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Yes but women are literally poor due to lack of impulse control. Women use like 59% of the money they earn vs mens 38% also men make more and actually invest. Letting your wife have your bank account is tantamount to financial suicide.
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Don't trust future her. Everything can be fine now but it is also to protect each other from liabilities that may come from the other partner,
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If you are male, a prenup doesn't matter. Many females jurors interpret it as getting married in bad faith. “Obviously he never planned on it lasting”. They are often unenforceable suggestions
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"jury". K bruh
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I mean, that's where it ends up when she doesn't think anything you offer her is fair or she thinks you are hiding assets. Her lawyer is going to act like the paper doesn't matter either way
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What sort backwards butt shithole third world country has juries for divorces?
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The real issue with this is prenups deal with premarital assets, and with such a large divergence there's going to be a timespan (let's say 1-7 years) where even if it was followed exactly he still comes out the loser/breaks even. So let's say he pays off her debts, and they have some prenup where they get divorced he at least gets his $150k back. It will still be a while before they combined even have $150k. And this is assuming she just doesn't spend all the money and racks up debt anyway.
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But that is basically a unsecured loan. Which is dumb.
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Until lawcels get involved.
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Never get married without verifying their finances.
For the moids here: A good strat is maybe to couch the subject as you wanting to help them choose better funds/allocations for their IRA or whatever. This should be pretty easy as my TikTok feed suggests most women are scared of anything that isn't an HYSA. Just put them on VTWAX or something.
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Bait idea: "my fiancée ran multiple credit checks on me before
she would 
agree 
to marry...."
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“She's 19 and a business major… I'm 28…”
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never get married if your net worth exceeds three years of your net income. family law is designed to transfer money from successful men to materialistic psychos.
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it would've been funny either way.
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Depending on the state, she could use the signed license as proof of marriage in a divorce case, even if it wasn't filed.
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why would anyone marry a fricking western foid is fricking betond me
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Ouch.
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whats the fricking point
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Divorce
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Mid s*x, bad cooking, constant headaches and an attitude, what's not to love?
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I mean you have friends right? I'm sure you think they're nice but ask yourself... "My whole life though??"
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You say this but i could hire a merc that would
woo you in an hour.
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Your preference is noted.
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He's a twink the only foids he likes is big brown muscle mommies
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because have you seen
eastern 
women? 
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Love, family, blood and pain
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My girl has no college debt and her family has money and owns their home outright. This is obviously the exception in the west rn though.
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↑Gold Digger↑
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They're hot ngl
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Flashbacks to my ex foid who broke my shit whenever she got any minor accusation her way. Thank God, it's over now.
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That's symbolic violence btw. That's the start of domestic violence. This is something that affects men too. It has nothing to do with the masculinity of the man, it's all the woman.
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Record is 1 days 13 hours 09 minutes and 59 seconds by TheDunceonFlorist
newest bardfriend is MrNorthwoods at 07:11 on 10-03-2024
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People who break shit in anger are subhuman.
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There's absolutely no reason to combine finances in current year. Either formalise the s*x for money arrangement or leave his bank account alone.
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If you're serious about being married for life and everything being one pot it makes perfect sense. But it only works if everyone is on the same page, honest about debt and goals, and with similar spending styles. If you don't match with those you're asking for a world of hurt even with separate accounts.
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Keep your own bank accounts and split the bills as you go is probably the best solution. Being serious about being married for life doesn't compute since you have no idea how you'll feel about the person going into the future.
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That works until life happens and one of you is out of the workforce for awhile. Say she doesn't work for several years to raise the kids, or he has a health emergency and is out of a job for an extended period. Then you both are just going to end up pulling from the same pot anyway. Honestly it's just easier to merge. But, to each their own. Like I was saying, the truly important thing is being on the save page regarding debt, saving, and spending.
We will have to agree to disagree about the wisdom of entering into marriage as a lifetime commitment.
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If you have no idea how you'll feel about the person going into the future why the frick would you marry them at all?
Do none of you sad fricks believe in love?
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well yeah marriage doesn't make much sense in current year, and historically is more about security than it is about emotion
you can believe in love while still being realistic about relationships and their tendency to end
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"Go into mountains of debt and trick a man into paying it off"
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Just like Dave Ramsey said!
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!fincels
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I don't want you guys to see my crippling pornography addiction and use it to dunk on me
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Fake and straight.
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whenever someone is clearly doing a troll post you will get one of the mods or just some jackass saying "LMAO THIS IS BAIT!! HA HA HA" like they are in on the joke.
imagine you are watching a movie and some butthole yells out spoilers. it ruins the total performance. just shut the frick up, like a good r-slur, and enjoy the show. dont be such an idiot and scream like you and the writers are on the same level because you are not. it is art.
i have literally seen countless posts where bait is ruined because some cute twink points out it is bait so they can feel internet savvy. i am actually very angry.
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Fake tbh
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Rookie mistake. Never tell a HVM about your shopping debt until after it's legal.
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If 160K is too much for you, you're probs a misogynist pig who doesn't place any value on the years of emotional labor that poor woman would have performed for you. YTA. Not a good look, Incel.
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Dude missed out on the most financially stable and honest woman America has to offer. His loss.
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For once reddit with the good advice of "leave her now"
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How the frick is any man, in the year 2024, still ignorant enough to get married?
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oooof I don't talk about money with moids I'm rockin with but this is the shit you talk about before marriage ffs. $160k in debt jfc
Krayon sexually assaulted his sister.
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Snapshots:
https://old.reddit.com/r/Money/comments/1bc9gdk/help_new_wife_has_crippling_debt/:
undelete.pullpush.io
ghostarchive.org
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
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