What's the length of your longest relationship?

About 6 months. Dating with the goal of a long-term relationship but realising that I really wasn't that into them. Feels bad because I kind of led them on I think. But I was young and it was my first few relationships while I was figuring it out.

As cliche as it is, I've looked into attachment theory etc and I'm the ambivalent (anxious-avoidant) type which is the worst kind. I really want the intimacy but it gets to a point where it freaks me out, so I panic and torpedo the entire thing. It's all normal and good right before that point.

Basically I need to be really into a securely-attached stable guy to be able to stick it out long enough for him to fix me. Preferably using methods both with AND without his peepee.

In any case I'm going on lots of first dates via apps and trying to meet people out but deciding against going on very few second dates. Not really into wasting time with confirmed duds anymore hoping I'll feel the spark on date 2.