Unable to load image

Poll: Pick-me gays. A real thing or sour grapes rationalisation of losers?

Background: A pick-me gay is a fairly entrenched concept in the gay community. It's basically the 'not-like-other-girls' of gays.


I've gathered a collection of reddit threads discussing the concept.

/r/AskGayMen: What are your thoughts on pick me gays?

Most controversial comment: they choose assimilation instead of liberation which spawns debate on heteronormativity with hypocrisy of the comment being pointed out.

Most upmarseyd: no one should put down others to make themselves feel better ...folllwed by r/notlikepthergorls.

Ah the duality of gays.

:marseymonk:


That wasn't too spicy. Let's see what if there is anything better in /r/AskGayBros where OP laments being called a pick me for not 'personally believe in neo-pronouns, because I think the 11 color Progress Flag is ugly as frick, because I think most mainstream gay culture is shallow and materialistic, and because I want to improve the material conditions of people I strongly dislike and strongly disagree with.'.

(ALMOST) Most controversial: wish there were more gays like you. Tired of the multiple flags and pro nouns shit which spawns some back and forth about OP being a pick me c*nt and the person replying being sanctimonious af.

Most Upmarseyd: Stop worrying about what the crowd is doing. Just do you....followed by this whole lotta' nothing.


So there appear to be a range of opinions on the topic. Only a smattering of drama here and there.

So I turn to the last bastion of drama, /r/XenogendersAndMore.

Specifically this pickmegay/trans starter pack.

Nothing TOO spicy because this sub is literally an echochamber. But it's pretty funny because the starter pack itself reveals the author seething over people not being on board 100% with everything they say.


Anyway, /h/gaybros, what is your opinion?

https://media.tenor.com/nPfx3o9OGjQAAAAd/norm-norm-macdonald.gif

53
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Reported by:
  • Gruestletoe : I think it's bullshit that you're forgiving heteronormativity instead of dethroning it

I've been accused of being a pickme gay before, turns out I'm also only attracted to other 'pickme gays'. I don't think it's necessarily a self hatred thing or the equivalent of an Uncle Tom for gay people, it's more about gays becoming increasingly accepted and no longer relying on an insular community for support. There's no assimilation/ liberation if you're not trapped to begin with. I've always been accepted by my entire family and community, I've always felt normal, my only issue with some of the pride/queer stuff is that the new backlash is all about trans people but because of this 'community' gays and lesbians are getting caught in the crossfire and for whatever reason are suppose to feel like they have to fight and defend the attack.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Yea I'm very similar. I think calling out :!marseytrain:s is pretty much the only form of activism that I, as a same s*x attracted woman, feel compelled to do.

Homophobia is not gone from this country but it feels so insignificant as to be irrelevant. Even in the Deep South it's pretty common to see pride flags in small towns.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I've always been accepted by my entire family and community, I've always felt normal, my only issue with some of the pride/queer stuff is that the new backlash is all about trans people but because of this 'community' gays and lesbians are getting caught in the crossfire and for whatever reason are suppose to feel like they have to fight and defend the attack.

It never even begun for the !chuds among !zoomers.

I've had the same experience. Whenever it does come up IRL, no one cares that I'm gay. Hard to justify getting into a subculture when the mainstream is perfectly accepting of you.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Same for me. My grandparents don't know I'm gay but my friends and immediate family know and have never given a shit

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

they don't ask you when you're getting them some grandkids? :marseyxd:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

They have like 30 grandkids lol. They asked me once and I was like ah you never know :tayshrug:

Edit: They did try and hook me up with an unmarried return missionary they'd befriended in their ward though. I looked him up on Instagram and he followed Lil Nas X and Tyler the Creator so I'm 99% sure he was gay too kek. I turned down their offer and I hope that guy is doing ok.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Lol are u a mormon? Most Mormon moids kinda give off gay vibes tbqh :marseysipping:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Yep lol. And true that. I had a friend in my ward who adored theater and Disney movies but he was still straight and now he's married and has a kid.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

you could be each other's beard :capymerchant:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

>tfw no revolutionary piss orgy liberation :marseyhomofascistgenocide:

!besties

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Plenty of people dislike gays but won't say it to your face. The most common slur my friends and I use is cute twink

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Plenty of people dislike gays but won't say it to your face.

Oh no, strangers might be thinking mean things about me. However will I cope with an indeterminate mass of people I don't know taking no action to harm me or infringe upon my rights and liberties?

!nonchuds It's truly over for the gays.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

This neighbour is an unironic nazi talking about a large group of people hating someone. Chuds need to look in the mirror sometimes

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

This neighbour is an unironic nazi talking about a large group of people hating someone.

Eh, I already know the steps to that song and dance. Remind a nazoid that he's hated and he'll go off about how the pendulum is going to swing any minute now and start shitposting about how anyone against him is an antifa :marseytrain: BIPOCcute twink.

I'm wondering what his response to dismissal will be.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I was walking along with my platonic trans friend and some short heyahoya made a face. But she is actually passable with a nice butt and was a QT femboy before transitioning so lmao stay friendless Mr Heyahoya Sourpuss

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1698083748284732.webp

I forgive you


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17347175730628493.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/1734863804-b712cb72-4bea-486e-8426-5bfaf3324b0e.webp

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

If Jesus isn't gay, why is there a musical starring him? :marseyshapiro:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Thats also the most common slur i say :marseyexcited:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

>The most common slur my friends and I use is cute twink

Is that cause you are one?

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Being gay is a superpower, unironically. Use it to understand and manipulate society in ways straggots could only dream of.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

There'd be no pride or gay marriage without the T, very disappointed in you former king.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Even if that's true it doesn't mean I need to be linked with them

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Sorry pimp, the neo"queers" and 2spirits are dictating your positions now. I don't make the rules :marseyshrug:

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

You should know better that the normies are in the wrong, though.

@YouveBeenEatenByAGrue stand with israel

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

If none of your friends and family/community accepted you would you still be gay/pursue a gay lifestyle?

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I think I'm just a worse iteration of you. While I've been supported by my family, I've never actually felt supported by the "gay community" at large. Mainly because if you grow up ugly, you get kinda mean and have a hard time dating because not only are you ugly on the outside, but on the inside as well. I'm lucky to have a boyfriend that's understanding and supportive, but I naturally kind of recoil at people who insist I owe them allegiance despite you know, totally leaving me to twist in the wind. After I came out, people varied from sexually exploitive to hostile. And even though these were broad generalizations, it was just odd because there wasn't like, this big party with friends waiting for me when I'd go to bars or whatever. It was just such a plot twist to see that my family didn't give a shit, but everyone (Who was gay) did. I guess when I was younger I would have liked support and mentorship, but I just got guys with the "This 18 year old would be a good frick" mentality. It was really informative, really damaging. At the same time, it made me who I am today. I don't wish to have it any other way.


Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

still better than being ugly and straight

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Posts like this is why I do Heroine.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Link copied to clipboard
Action successful!
Error, please refresh the page and try again.