hooked up Hook up is in quotes cause I don't really think what we did can be called that. He drove over to a corner of a quiet parking lot in the middle of the day and I just spent like 10 minutes touching his prick, stroking and petting every which way but it just would not get hard. He was jizzing pre-c*m like crazy so I can't believe that he wasn't into it but that thing would not solidify past 2 inches. It was so sad.
At one point I just gave up and he drove me back pretending like nothing happened. He didn't seem awfully bothered or ashamed over it and apparently the most interesting thing he could find to talk about was the roadside construction work and what the newest sites were. It was so goddarn lame. But that's what I mean. We met on grindr but he was this stereotype of the boring nice guy with absolutely no personality and just the most vapid interests. I only went to do anything with him cause he seemed nice and didn't look too awful. And it's not like he was some fossil either, dude was just fifty. I feel like I'm in some sort of bad sitcom right now.
Also a note: Apparently white guys just have a lot of precum? Can anyone else confirm if this true or not?
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YOU KNOW, MAYBE IT'S NOT THE BIRTH CONTROL THAT MAKES ME A RAGING B-WORD, MAYBE IT'S YOUR LYING HORNY BUTT CONSTANTLY TRYING TO JUMP MY SHIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FRICKING NIGHT. "BUT I CAN'T SLEEP UNLESS I FRICK YOU!" EVEN IF I BELIEVED THAT FRICKING BULLSHIT, I DON'T GIVE A FRICK. I'LL KNOCK OVER A VET'S OFFICE AND SLIP HORSE TRANQUILIZERS INTO YOUR FRICKING ICED TEA IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO GET YOU TO LEAVE ME THE FRICK ALONE AND GET SOME FRICKING SHRED OF SLEEP AT NIGHT. LIKE BEING UP EVERY 3 HOURS WHILE THIS KID GRUNTS AND STRAINS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO SQUIRT LIQUID SHIT OUT OF HIS BUTT ISN'T EXHAUSTING ENOUGH, YOU EXPECT ME TO PLAY "SEXY SLEEP FAIRY" WITH YOU. GO FIND A FRICKING WHORE, I HOPE YOU GET GONORRHEA AND YOUR PEEPEE FALLS OFF YOU FRICKING SELFISH PRICK.
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