EFFORTPOST actually funny The most trolled and documented groomer in history: Lorne Armstrong from To Catch a Predator (Part 1)

There is perhaps no show more infamous on the Internet than To Catch a Predator. As a lot of you know, I'm writing a book related to To Catch a Predator and my research has led me to a lot of weird and fascinating places. One of these weird places is in the case of one of the most well known predators caught on the show, Lorne Armstrong.

A Brief Background on Lorne Armstrong

There is enough knowledge and documentation out there of his early life before getting caught on the show that it could be its' own separate post, but to give a bit of background on who this guy is before he got caught on the show here are a few things:

1. Lorne was a former member of the Air Force but the actual details behind his service are murky. He served for only a year before being discharged and he claims he was discharged because he failed a test and was told he would either be discharged or have to change his career in the Air Force. The actual truth is unknown.

2. Lorne has the nickname of "87" because he graduated 87 out of 87 in his high school class.

3. He was born and raised in Maine but at the time of the sting was living in Nashville because he has dreams of becoming a country music star, Whenever he had money he would go to karaoke bars and sing song after song thinking he had a wonderful voice. The real reason he fled Maine was because he scammed an elderly couple out of tens of thousands of dollars claiming he would renovate their home on the cheap. In reality he had none of the cowtools and his alcoholic brother stole a lot of the money so Lorne just left the state to avoid getting sued.

4. Before the sting, Lorne had been catfished by a woman pretending to be both a woman named Amanda James and her niece. Amanda James convinced Lorne to send her memorabilia of the NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. among other gifts. Lorne apparently spent two years believing he was in a relationship with her before learning she was a catfish when his sister talked to Amanda James on the phone for a few seconds and figured it out immediately. No that's not an exaggeration. That's how dumb he is.

Falling In Love With a 13 Year Old Girl

As a newcomer to the city of Nashville with a completely empty apartment with no furniture:

Lorne didn't have a lot of activities to take up his free time as he was an unemployed bum living off the money remaining out of what he had stolen. So of course he spent a lot of time in Internet chatrooms talking up underaged girls. Lorne had actually talked up two other decoys from Perverted Justice ready to ensnare guys for the new episode of To Catch a Predator, but he wound up singling out a specific decoy who went by the name Kayla. Kayla is...weird. She's supposedly 13 but has the tone and vocabulary of a six year old. Maybe Lorne found that attractive as it would mean she would be easier to manipulate. Who's to say for sure.

This is how the conversation between the two starts:

It's important here to notice that the chatlog between the two is around 400 PAGES long. It would take far too long to break down every single day or moment of the chatlog, so I will just stick to a faint outline and the most memorable moments.

While Lorne is an absolute dumbass, he has enough braincells to formulate the beginning stages of grooming as evident here:

He tries to lure the decoy into a false sense of security by letting her know he is one of the "non-weirdos" and that she can trust him.

Here is where Lorne initially turns the conversation sexual. If you notice it takes less than two hours into talking before he feels comfortable enough to do it. The decoy playing as Kayle plays along and acts like she has no idea about s*x or masturbation beyond it hurting yet Lorne still pushes her towards it.

I'm going to fast-forward here because as I said this chatlog is ridiculously long and I'll hit the main points here.

Lorne tells Kayla to ask her dad to go shopping and buy a thong because when Lorne bought his underaged nieces a pair of tight shorts it made him feel good:

One reoccurring element in their chatlog is that Lorne is paranoid about the "Yahoo police" finding out what he is doing so he tells Kayla every night to delete her archives:

One of the more infamous moments in the entire chatlog is when Lorne gets jealous of Kayla's 13 year old ex, Derek:

To emphasize how stupid and pathetic Lorne is, here is a snippet where he opens his cam and shows off both sides of his brand new credit card to Kayla, bragging about the $300 limit:

Here Lorne professes his love for Kayla for the first time...after six days of chatting:

Lorne proposes that when they meet up Lorne could give Kayla a Walmart bracelet in exchange for a used pair of her panties:

Lorne explains to Kayla that if she were to swallow his semen she wouldn't be hungry anymore:

It's also important to notice that Lorne would have his cam on constantly and he would always be naked and have it pointed at his peepee. If Kayla clicked away from his cam he would get angry and tell her to click back. He referred to it as "Mr. Peepee":

Two days before their planned meeting Kayla tells Lorne her parents are both doctors. Lorne tells her that her mom could deliver their future children but not the dad because...well, you just have to read it:

Finally, on the day they're supposed to meet:

Oh, yeah, it's Lorne's birthday. The plan is to drive her from her mansion in Kentucky to his desolate, empty apartment in Nashville, where he'll spend the weekend having s*x with her on his mattress on the floor. Embarrassingly, he doesn't have enough money for gas to drive back and has to ask Kayla for some money that her parents have supposedly left her for the weekend alone. He makes the long drive to Kentucky ecstatic at the idea of being with his 13 year old girlfriend, completely unaware his real date is with Chris Hansen and law enforcement.

Part 2

In my next part I'll cover the actual sting and what happened there, what charges he was hit with, and some of what he went through in prison.

If you can't wait to see this guy's whole world crumble down here is the full, uncut sting segment with him.

If you're wondering how we have the full segment when we don't for so many others, Lorne sent it to a catfish since he had access to it as part of his defense. Not just any catfish, though. The second catfish pretending to be the decoy actress who greeted him at the sting. The second out of three different catfishes all pretending to be the same actress that interacted with him in the sting. And yes, he learned they were all catfishes and still fell for it two more times afterwards.

Trust me, this story gets insane.