The Big Lebowski
If it didn't have Jeff Bridges no one would even pretend it's good. It's not funny, it's not compelling, it's not interesting. It's awkward and bland.
Trainspotting
Waoaow so deep 
Black Swan
Circa 2019:
Full Metal Jacket
If it had just been the first act when they're in basic stretched for the full runtime it would have been decent. Instead it was trash. Pyle killing the DS was trash. The transition to Vietnam was trash. Vietnam was trash. The ending was trash. The best that can be said about Kubrick is he's sometimes capable of creating something almost watchable. FMJ is not.
The Shining
My fricking god I hate Kubrick. Spend less time filling drawers that won't be opened while the cameras are rolling with completed paperwork and realistic office minutiae so you can jerk off to interviewers about what an auteur you are and more time picking a story to adapt to film that isn't shit.
Jaws
It's literally a fricking shark just stay out of the water and drop some poisoned chum off the pier or something holy shit
Saw (the original and the franchise)
I don't even know if this is a liked IP or anything and I don't see how it can be given the quality of every single one of them but they've made like a gorillion all with theatrical releases so I assume it's beloved for some reason and I cannot even begin to guess at why
Brüno
Borat was the only time Sacha Baron Cohen has ever been funny and following it up with Brüno really hammers this home. LOL HES GAY and LOL THERES A PEEPEE ON SCREEN SO RANDOM AND GAY
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
How Kaufman went from this soulless contrived piece of shit to the apex of cinema (Synecdoche New York) one film later is nothing short of miraculous. The one thing Sunshine has going for it is that it literally proves that SNY was divine intervention.
Audition
You can suss out a fake kino enthusiast by asking them if they liked Audition. Normal people will generally not know what you're talking about (some will but they won't feel very strongly about it) and these r-slurs will gush about how good it is. It's not good. Nothing fricking happens and not in an interesting way. The tedium only serves to try and enhance the effect of the long-awaited Occurence which manages to be less interesting than the monotony. It's a terrible film.
Clerks
Someone is inevitably going to post the haha try not to suck any peepees on your way through the parking lot clip in response to this statement but there is not a single funny line in Clerks, let alone a funny scene. Dante is a loser who quips back and forth with Darrell or whatever who is also a loser. Constantly. It's all so quippy and tiresome and not a single one lands. Clerks would be improved with a laugh track so then at least we could get funny YouTube edits like CLERKS NO LAUGH TRACK with it removed like people did for Big Bang Theory to illustrate how unfunny it is. Kevin Smith is a fat humorless moron, and if someone likes Clerks there's a good chance they are too.
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you know if news of a killer shark happened today there would instantly be 100 tiktokers showing up trying to get almost killed for content
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Fun fact the shark attack that inspired Jaws was based on a shark that killed multiple people on multiple occassions on the same day
Butthole shark swims up river and bites a kid swimming, his friends try to rescue him and leave
Kids come back later and don't know what it was and the shark bites and kills one of them again in the same spot lmao
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