The Big Lebowski
If it didn't have Jeff Bridges no one would even pretend it's good. It's not funny, it's not compelling, it's not interesting. It's awkward and bland.
Trainspotting
Waoaow so deep 
Black Swan
Circa 2019:
Full Metal Jacket
If it had just been the first act when they're in basic stretched for the full runtime it would have been decent. Instead it was trash. Pyle killing the DS was trash. The transition to Vietnam was trash. Vietnam was trash. The ending was trash. The best that can be said about Kubrick is he's sometimes capable of creating something almost watchable. FMJ is not.
The Shining
My fricking god I hate Kubrick. Spend less time filling drawers that won't be opened while the cameras are rolling with completed paperwork and realistic office minutiae so you can jerk off to interviewers about what an auteur you are and more time picking a story to adapt to film that isn't shit.
Jaws
It's literally a fricking shark just stay out of the water and drop some poisoned chum off the pier or something holy shit
Saw (the original and the franchise)
I don't even know if this is a liked IP or anything and I don't see how it can be given the quality of every single one of them but they've made like a gorillion all with theatrical releases so I assume it's beloved for some reason and I cannot even begin to guess at why
Brüno
Borat was the only time Sacha Baron Cohen has ever been funny and following it up with Brüno really hammers this home. LOL HES GAY and LOL THERES A PEEPEE ON SCREEN SO RANDOM AND GAY
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
How Kaufman went from this soulless contrived piece of shit to the apex of cinema (Synecdoche New York) one film later is nothing short of miraculous. The one thing Sunshine has going for it is that it literally proves that SNY was divine intervention.
Audition
You can suss out a fake kino enthusiast by asking them if they liked Audition. Normal people will generally not know what you're talking about (some will but they won't feel very strongly about it) and these r-slurs will gush about how good it is. It's not good. Nothing fricking happens and not in an interesting way. The tedium only serves to try and enhance the effect of the long-awaited Occurence which manages to be less interesting than the monotony. It's a terrible film.
Clerks
Someone is inevitably going to post the haha try not to suck any peepees on your way through the parking lot clip in response to this statement but there is not a single funny line in Clerks, let alone a funny scene. Dante is a loser who quips back and forth with Darrell or whatever who is also a loser. Constantly. It's all so quippy and tiresome and not a single one lands. Clerks would be improved with a laugh track so then at least we could get funny YouTube edits like CLERKS NO LAUGH TRACK with it removed like people did for Big Bang Theory to illustrate how unfunny it is. Kevin Smith is a fat humorless moron, and if someone likes Clerks there's a good chance they are too.
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This is now a
@Holly_Jolly_Kong movie complaint thread. Terminator 1 is overrated shit and Terminator 2 is a OK movie AT BEST. Jurrasic park is overrated. Pulp Fiction only has 15 mins of good scenes and the rest fricking sucks I HATE UMA THURMAN. Back to the Future sucks. The matrix is one of the worst movies ive ever seen if you like that movie you need to rewatch it and accept its le shit. Lord of the Rings Return Of The King is le shit and honestly sucks the first two movies are the only good ones. Spirited Away sucks and so do all those jap cute twink movies that guy makes (except for The Castle of Cagliostro). Grave of the Fireflies isnt sad or interesting. Alien is ok at best. Aliens only has one good scene which is the red room, the rest of that movie SUCKS. All Indiana jones movies sucks. WALL-E is only good when they are on Earth, the moment they got onto that ship it turned into a SHITTY MOVIE. Oldboy sucks. Braveheart sucks. Good Will Hunting sucks. Die Hard sucks. Taxi Driver has 5 mins that are good the rest sucks. The Wolf of Wall Street is ALL SHITTY AND I HATE THAT MOVIE AND ITS FANS. Eyes wide shut is a cuck movie and is le shit. Kill Bill sucks. All of Mad Max sucks, the only redeeming part is Lord Humungus hot body. Ratatouille is actually boring af post first cooking scene. Akira opening scene is the only good thing about it. Robo cop sucks. 80% of blade runner is boring, if it wasn't for the tears in rain speech nobody would care about that movie. I hate saving private ryan. I hate the mist and ANY OF STEPHEN KINGS BOOKS HE IS A SHITTY AUTHOR AND A CUTE TWINK I'LL KILL HIM. ET sucks. Paddington sucks. Up only has a good intro scene the rest is boring. The first half of La La Land is kino then it takes a sharp dive and SUCKS. Lars and the Real Girl is OK at best. Ghostbusters is boring and uninteresting. There Will Be Blood ending is the only good scene the rest is boring and le shit. Honestly name a movie and I prob hate it. I hate movies!
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Wolf of Wall Street slander = 30 day ban
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Margin Call was better
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I actually liked margin call lol
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I've gotten into fights with my family about that movie. Same with Eyes wide shut. They cant handle my wise wisdom.
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Virgins think the Wolf of Wall Street has a deeper message, Chad knows it's a homage to his lifestyle
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75% good list but if you ever malign robocop again you'll be permanently removed. Please take note.
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Its my true opinions!
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Blasphemer!
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I dropped the biggest truth bomb this site will ever receive.
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Ma'am we've been over this before. You need to stop.
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shut up you dumb fricking BIPOC bot. I'll kill you
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What movies do you like, then, b-word?
I liked Taxi Driver because Travis Bickle was fricking very relatable, especially when he was fricking just being a fricking sperg. When he became badass I thought "wow I should become a fricking spree killer."
I liked Blade Runner because Roy, even before his speech, was a fricking really great villain. He starts as this psychotic killer but you see him gain more and more humanity as the fricking movie goes on, he's like a fricking reverse Travis Bickle. When he became merciful I thought "wow I should do unto others what I would have them do unto me."
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I like siege of jadotville, I like RAD. Honestly the older I get the more I realize 90% of movies are actually shit, 9% is EH at most, and 1% is actually good. Movies fricking SUCK.
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Doesn't that have some ridiculous scene in it where American planes shoot down Dag Hammarskjold?
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https://www.quora.com/How-historically-accurate-was-the-Siege-of-Jadotville-movie
There's a metric shit load of things the terminal mick movie
gets wrong
I was very disappointed
years later 
utterly 🍗 wingcucked the creators weren't, as the Congo situation was intensely complex
Movie heavily implied burgerland
was in support of Katanga
Micks being the eternal r-slura might have mistaken this as burger
Congress 
had several Katana support cuz of anti communism,
But significantly this was when Kennedy
was in power
--- the UN helicopter
send to relieve them wasn't even short 
down only damaged, and returned to base
The Mick needs
to perpetually warp reality to to be in impressions
Brave heart
as about as historically accurate
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Even the sperg who gets everything else right acts like there's some reason to still suspect foul play in the plane crash. Omg I hate people who aren't plane crash neurodivergents so much.
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They were Saab Tunnans piloted by utterly based Frenchmen, and yes it happened and I think more UN officials should be killed by mercenaries
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I can almost understand people being tarded enough to believe this in pre-internet times, but now you can just take like 15 minutes to confirm that were no planes in the region capable of flying out to Harare, loitering for a while until his plane arrives, detecting it in total darkness, and shooting it down.
Oh yeah and doing it at precisely the right moment where it would look like they ran into a hill which wasn't marked on the approach chart.
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hold on I just remembered more movies I dont like.
Dead Poets Society sucks and so does robin williams. The Goonies is le shit. John Carpenter's They Live is overrated 4chan slop. Good Morning, Vietnam is more robin williams shit. Beetlejuice is EH. Who Framed Roger Rabbit sucks, I only rewatch it for nostalgia's sake. Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure sucks and so does fricking keanu reeves. HE CANT ACT! The Iron Giant is overrated redditor shit and isnt sad. Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade sucks and people only like/remember the intro scene like all fricking Japanese anime movies. Demolition Man sucks. Mars Attacks sucks. The Silence of the Lambs is uninteresting and overrated. Escape from L.A. sucks. Once Upon a Time in hollywood is one OF THE WORST MOVIES IVE SEEN I FRICKING HATE IT AND ALL ITS FANS. Children of Men also is boring and shit.
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Okay I actually agree with all of these tho.
If it was actually about how killing all communists is based and the right thing to do then it would have been kino
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Do u like django unchained
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Its not bad but it aint good either
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also Ridley Scott has never made a good movie. Nor has Steven Spielberg.
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Alien was good. Ridley Scott's problem is just that he decided to stop making good movies in 1979.
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Ridley Scott's problem is that he didn't kill himself like his brother. I hate that guy almost as much as I hate Stephen King
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What are some good books then, nerd?
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Dune and unlike 99% of dune fans I actually read past the first book, Dune Messiah is a good epilogue, Children of dune is a slog but it sets everything up for God Emperor of Dune which is one of the best books written. Any book past that sucks I don't like chapter house. Blood Meridan is a weird book where it goes from absolute shit to absolute kino back to absolute shit but it still a good book. The road is father and son kino. Catch-22 is a wild ride. Shogun by James Clavell is good but I actually prefer the miniseries better, anything else he wrote is shit. Metro 2033 and 2035 are kino, 2035 is peak depression kino. Enders game is great but the real kino is in Speaker for the Dead, it rules, anything past that book is le shit tho. The Stars My Destination is a schizo story but its not bad. I like The Black Company. If you like short stories then All Summer in a Day and There Will Come Soft Rains are both depression kino.
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Mid sci-fan slop
"Look at me, I read serious books"
"Look at me, I read serious books"
"Look at me, I read serious books"
It's no wonder that you can't appreciate Jurassic Park, perpetual adolescents despise the wonders of childhood.
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Catch 22 reminds me of marvel quips the movie. Oh we get the entire country is run by hypocritical jewish lawyer rules so quirky and the main character tries to jewish lawyer reason himself to freedom
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with all due respect you just revealed your own ignorance! Calling Shogun and The Stars My Destination a YA novel, he r*pes a chick in that book and its cool! Calling The road and catch 22 a "serious book". Not understanding the western kino that is blood meridian. Calling dune "mid" you're the same guy who only read the first book and nothing else! I should kill and fricking eat you!
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Oh? Sorry, I was busy reading Faulkner. A true American novelist. I know you don't want to call it slop, but
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No country is better than BM tbh
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I own jurassic park. Im about to reread this shit book just to vindicate my own feelings!
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Crichton is a hack
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With one line, you've redeemed yourself
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I liked the 1408 movie
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This BIPOC is allergic to good movies or something
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Who tf doesn't like Jurassic park?
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I disagree with almost all of this but I have to respect being this level of hater. Go off King
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Yes, it's true. This man has no peepee.
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Many such carps.
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you know if news of a killer shark happened today there would instantly be 100 tiktokers showing up trying to get almost killed for content
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Fun fact the shark attack that inspired Jaws was based on a shark that killed multiple people on multiple occassions on the same day
Butthole shark swims up river and bites a kid swimming, his friends try to rescue him and leave
Kids come back later and don't know what it was and the shark bites and kills one of them again in the same spot lmao
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Wrong. That scene in that movie Eternal Sunshine where jim carrys sitting in the lobby of the memory eraser clinic and for a second it pans over to this old lady with her dogs stuff is one of the saddest moments in cinema history.
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You're trolling.
Is the best depiction of how a junkie's mind operates that we'll ever see. Important if you live in Portland and want to understand your neighbors.
My dad identified the exact same things sucking in it that you did.
R. Lee Ermy was responsible for virtually everything good in it.
Yeah it's well made but the premise is just too stupid for it to work.
It's funny if you're a teenager but I have no idea how in the heck anyone thinks it's a work of genius. It's like something we would make in high school, just a little better and with more time put into it.
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Thats like 95% of horror movies
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I want a fricking horror movie about a fricking schizophrenic male feminist transported into a fricking Lovecraftian remix of Lewis Carroll's Wonderland.
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Blacksouls movie would make me coom indeed
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I would cast Ryan Gosling as Grimm.
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I would be cast as red hood in that case
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I would be cast as the knight of the deep sea.
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Literally a meme movie that only small group of people rave over. "I'm the dude!"
The Boondock Saints is in the same vein as The Big Lebowski: Meme potential for a small group but overall not a good movie.
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I agree with you on Jaws and Clerks. Jaws is well made but the premise requires a lot of suspension of disbelief, and a lot of Clerks was funnier when you were younger and could call someone gay without getting in trouble.
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The Nightmare Before Christmas. And everything else Tim Burton haa done except Beetlejuice and Edward Scissorhands.
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banned
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I always saw people hype tim burton, then I recently-ish saw his batman movie and his planet of the apes, and both were so fricking bad. Like really, really bad. Insufferable bad. That was the moment I realized most people are r-slurred.
The only movie of his that I like was '9' I think, though I was a kid when I watched that so idk if it still holds up.
I found nightmare before christmas mid, charlie and the chocolate factory was just weird (in a bad way) and I watched both of these as a kid too, so theyre probably even worse now.
Anyway, tim burton sucks butt.
cc
@SusieVass
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Yeah I don't personally like Burton lol. He has an undeniable style to him though and it's incredibly strong and entirely unique to him, he's absolutely very talented even if most of his stuff doesn't do it for me. He's had a few absolute bangers though. Namely Nightmare, Corpse Bride and Sleepy Hollow.
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I like the one about the guy who has scissors for hands. I think it's called "Edward with Scissors for Hands."
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God this was awful. After a couple hours I thought finally there's no way I can be even more disappointed. And then the ending.
It was even more infuriating to me because I liked the real Planet of the Apes so much that I read the original French novel it was based on. The dumbfricks who wrote this movie just take the ending of the book and drop it at the end of their movie even though it makes no sense at all. And I just know some fricking smug tard must have thought he was really hot shit for coming up with that idea.
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I legitimately hate Tim Burton. Like to a completely irrational degree. His particular kind of pseudo-cutesy look-at-me-I'm-an-ART-kid-aren't-I-so-special? style just makes me seethe.
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i hate Tim Burton so much it's unreal. Beetlejuice is fine but Edward Scissorhands is on thin fricking ice. the only truly good thing he ever did was Batman Returns
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And let's not pretend that Batman Returns is a good movie: it's just the least awful Batman before Nolan showed up.
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i hope Christopher Nolan drives off a bridge.
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Mars attacks
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I just saw Pee Wee's Big Adventure and thought it was nice hehe
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i always forget he made this. amending my previous opinion to Tim Burton has made two good movies.
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Tim Burton didn't direct Nightmare Before Christmas
He was hundreds of miles away while the film was being directed/created, he had little (if any) creative output in the making of that film.
Please
stop 
spreading 
lies
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How is Brüno overrated? Everyone said that shit sucked and was a terrible followup to Borat.
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People liked Bruno. You people literally streamed it here if I recall!!!!!
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Every movie is gonna have it's defenders. I'm sure there are people out there who think The Room is an unironically good movie. Most people hated Bruno (journos don't count).
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I liked borat because sasha barom cohen went out of his way to make a racist trash guy and the rednecks he interviewed tried their best to teach him what amerikkka is about instead of shunning him (which is exactly what he did after filming)
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!metashit
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This isn't about that. It's about integrity in ghost
posting.
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Neighbor you dmed me and told me who it was, all I did was confirm it via the information you gave me
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u abused
your janny 
powers in the ghost 
thread 
to make it where 
anyone could see who it was in the logs. And all it did is prove you wrong 
because I was the other ghost. There 
was just one bridge. Darn baboon.
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You really don't understand how this works at all do you
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I understand that you'll be "DO NOT ENGAGE" posting
on my ghost 
posts for months to come.
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That wasn't your thread.
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!metashit
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Carp keeps on embarrassing himself. Ted simp, banning praise him, and now this. Idek what is happening tbh, but the comment ratios prove he is getting BTFOD, and by a woman no less!!!! You go Frozen!!! Break the glass ceiling!!!!!!
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I didn't ban your praisehim alt but if you keep sending me annoying notifications about it I'm going to ban this account
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It was shadowbanned because i accidently logged in with shadowbanned account. But you not unbanning praisehim is the equivalent of you banning!!!!!
Btw, i thought you muted me? Can't get enough of my great insightful commentary? I sent your master, (Aevann) a message and you will be banned PERMANENTLY in the next 3 hours. Sorry!!! But cats prey on fishes not the other way around!!!!
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You can see on your profile that you have 0 muters and you also receive a notification when someone mutes you. You did not think this.
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You rapidly unmuted me because you got embarrased!!!!
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What's this mean
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This guy is another flaming groomercord cute twink. Also a ghostposting-BIPOC
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Oh brother
this guy stinks!
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I promise you I know less about groomercord
than carp. I only got in because they thought 
I was Frozen, and they kicked me shortly after.
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You'll know when the smoke
clears,
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Come on, give some hints. You can't leave us hanging like this.
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It's happening
live in this thread.
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HOW ABOUT UNDERRATED
WHAT IV'E DOOOONE
I'LL FACE MYSELF
TO CROSS OUT WHAT I'VE BECOOOOME
ERASE MYSELF
AND LET GO OF WHAT I'VE DONE
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i guess so but i've not watched it in years
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lmao
read a book idiot
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zoz
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zle
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zozzle
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I like Black Swan
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It's so bad even Mika Kunis and Natalie Portman making out couldn't get it so much as a half star on the Kinometer
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I just remember her fricking up her toe when spinning and it make me imagine how much it would hurt if that happened to me.
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Watch the Suspiria remake
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lol yeah that scene was brutal
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ITS SO FRICKING GOOD
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I was never an Argento fan or a fan of the Italian horror genre (gialo? There's a word for it) but was pleasantly surprised w the Suspiria remake.
One movie I hated on first watch but grew rapidly to absolutely love is Beyond The Black Rainbow. If you watch it just for the experience to wash over you, it's really hypnotic
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The Big Lebowski is a good chill movie. It's a good barometer on whether people take themselves too seriously or not.
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Interstellar is the only good movie ever made
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Hur dur space math man talks to little girl from inside a bookshelf. Time is a flat circle bro.
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yeah. that happened
also the kino scene with the wave
and fighting matt damon for control of their space station.
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Interstellar was excellent yeah
I went into it knowing nothing and thinking it was going to be some actiony mindless space movie
Fun but forgettable and not very good
But no
That shit ruled
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lol nm, you have shit taste in movies
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Gonna cry into your Kevin Smith collectors edition box set huh
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Never seen Clerks tbh.
I think I saw Clerks 2 for some reason and my buddy was enthusiastically pointing out the artistic use of the Smashing Pumpkins song 1979 and I was like
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I disagree with almost everything you said but I do agree Kevin Smith sucks and I have no idea how he's gotten to where he is. His movies aren't funny and the actors are terrible, which relfects poorly on him as a director.
Also haven't seen Black Swan since it came out but I agree it's self indulgent and pretends to be deep when it's really pretty basic and stupid
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oh no. I agree with you on pulp fiction but interstellar was absolute trash. I'm torn now.
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Interstellar was good until like halfway, then it fell apart. The ending is nonsense and the whole premise doesn't work. Either make a sci-fi movie or straggy love conquers all movie, not both you r-slur.
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i see you are also a man of refined tastes
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Was interstellar the one with the weird bookshelf shit? If yes then I found it okay but overhyped.
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Christopher Nolan is an r-slur and a cute twink.
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I thought that movie was so fricking dopey, IT WAS MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY BEHIND THE BOOKCASE THE WHOLE TIME
Give me a break
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You know what was way better? 2001: A Space Odyssey by the greatest filmmaker of all time Stanley Kubrick.
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You know what was way better? 2001: A Space Odyssey by the greatest filmmaker of all time Stanley Kubrick.
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Nice, I get to downmarsey you twice
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Girl bye
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