The Big Lebowski
If it didn't have Jeff Bridges no one would even pretend it's good. It's not funny, it's not compelling, it's not interesting. It's awkward and bland.
Trainspotting
Waoaow so deep
Black Swan
Circa 2019:
Full Metal Jacket
If it had just been the first act when they're in basic stretched for the full runtime it would have been decent. Instead it was trash. Pyle killing the DS was trash. The transition to Vietnam was trash. Vietnam was trash. The ending was trash. The best that can be said about Kubrick is he's sometimes capable of creating something almost watchable. FMJ is not.
The Shining
My fricking god I hate Kubrick. Spend less time filling drawers that won't be opened while the cameras are rolling with completed paperwork and realistic office minutiae so you can jerk off to interviewers about what an auteur you are and more time picking a story to adapt to film that isn't shit.
Jaws
It's literally a fricking shark just stay out of the water and drop some poisoned chum off the pier or something holy shit
Saw (the original and the franchise)
I don't even know if this is a liked IP or anything and I don't see how it can be given the quality of every single one of them but they've made like a gorillion all with theatrical releases so I assume it's beloved for some reason and I cannot even begin to guess at why
Brüno
Borat was the only time Sacha Baron Cohen has ever been funny and following it up with Brüno really hammers this home. LOL HES GAY and LOL THERES A PEEPEE ON SCREEN SO RANDOM AND GAY
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
How Kaufman went from this soulless contrived piece of shit to the apex of cinema (Synecdoche New York) one film later is nothing short of miraculous. The one thing Sunshine has going for it is that it literally proves that SNY was divine intervention.
Audition
You can suss out a fake kino enthusiast by asking them if they liked Audition. Normal people will generally not know what you're talking about (some will but they won't feel very strongly about it) and these r-slurs will gush about how good it is. It's not good. Nothing fricking happens and not in an interesting way. The tedium only serves to try and enhance the effect of the long-awaited Occurence which manages to be less interesting than the monotony. It's a terrible film.
Clerks
Someone is inevitably going to post the haha try not to suck any peepees on your way through the parking lot clip in response to this statement but there is not a single funny line in Clerks, let alone a funny scene. Dante is a loser who quips back and forth with Darrell or whatever who is also a loser. Constantly. It's all so quippy and tiresome and not a single one lands. Clerks would be improved with a laugh track so then at least we could get funny YouTube edits like CLERKS NO LAUGH TRACK with it removed like people did for Big Bang Theory to illustrate how unfunny it is. Kevin Smith is a fat humorless moron, and if someone likes Clerks there's a good chance they are too.
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!metashit
@bridgemas did nothing wrong.
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What's this mean
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This guy is another flaming groomercord cute twink. Also a ghostposting-BIPOC
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Oh brother this guy stinks!
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I promise you I know less about groomercord than carp. I only got in because they thought I was Frozen, and they kicked me shortly after.
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You'll know when the smoke clears,
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Come on, give some hints. You can't leave us hanging like this.
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It's happening live in this thread.
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This isn't about that. It's about integrity in ghost posting.
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Neighbor you dmed me and told me who it was, all I did was confirm it via the information you gave me
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u abused your janny powers in the ghost thread to make it where anyone could see who it was in the logs. And all it did is prove you wrong because I was the other ghost. There was just one bridge. Darn baboon.
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You really don't understand how this works at all do you
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I understand that you'll be "DO NOT ENGAGE" posting on my ghost posts for months to come.
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That wasn't your thread.
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!metashit
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Carp keeps on embarrassing himself. Ted simp, banning praise him, and now this. Idek what is happening tbh, but the comment ratios prove he is getting BTFOD, and by a woman no less!!!! You go Frozen!!! Break the glass ceiling!!!!!!
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I didn't ban your praisehim alt but if you keep sending me annoying notifications about it I'm going to ban this account
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It was shadowbanned because i accidently logged in with shadowbanned account. But you not unbanning praisehim is the equivalent of you banning!!!!!
Btw, i thought you muted me? Can't get enough of my great insightful commentary? I sent your master, (Aevann) a message and you will be banned PERMANENTLY in the next 3 hours. Sorry!!! But cats prey on fishes not the other way around!!!!
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You can see on your profile that you have 0 muters and you also receive a notification when someone mutes you. You did not think this.
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You rapidly unmuted me because you got embarrased!!!!
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