Weekly What are you watching thread #13

What's everyone in !kino watching lately? :marseypopcorntime:

@Aevann please pin :marseybegging:

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After a binge of shit sci-fi couple of weeks back, I am bank on my shit-scifi with aliens binge this weekend

Independence Day - 8/10

Battleship - 10/10

Battle LA - 2/10 - Couldn't even get past the first quarter

Suggest me more, I have 12 hours to kills !kino

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Battleship was the most r-slurred movie I watched this year, but it was bad in a good way. It starts off with the dumb blonde love interest going into a disgusting bar in the middle of nowhere by herself and ordering a beer and a chicken burrito. The greasy fricking fat bastard bartender slams the microwave door closed and says "kitchen's closed." :rapeson:

The protagonist of the story is an unemployed 26 year old :brainletchest: who wants to HAVE S*X :marseysoyhype: with the dumb blonde so he breaks into a gas station across the street to microwave a chicken burrito which calls in like 4 police cruisers and ends with him getting chased by a horde of cops back across the street to the dingy butt bar where he gets tazered and dogpiled right at the feet of the dumb blonde but not before handing her the chicken burrito which was also the most blatant product placement :amerimuttfastfood: ever in what was basically a glorified recruitment ad for the navy.

Then it turns out that that Chick was the daughter of the admiral of the entire fricking fleet, and the dumbass protagonist ends up becoming a the captain of his own ship after aliens invade. This movie is absolutely r-slurred !kino and !metashit only watch it if you have someone to gab over it with. It's absolutely r-slurred. It's so bad it's good.

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I like to make my girl watch movies like llamagedon with me. She hates it. Is it blatantly stupid to that degree?


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17121718107069042.webp

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It's not quite llamageddon tier. Battleship is more of a summer blockbuster gone wrong kind of movie. The budget, cgi, and effects are high quality. The acting sucks, the writing is worse. The sheer stupidity in the characters actions makes this movie more of a comedy than an action flick.

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Punching holes in r-slurred writers' logic and brutally mocking it is when I shine my brightest. I might take the plunge.


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17121718107069042.webp

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It's so bad it's good.

finally this is what I want, you get it.

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That sounds fricking great. :marseyxd: All I remember was the promotional Roblox gane they made :marseynormalface:

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Wanting to frick a 25-year old blonde girl who flies helicopters for the Navy is the story of my life and somehow these tards were too stupid to tell it to me. :marseyraging:

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You had a chance to not be completely worthless, but it looks like you threw it away. At least you're consistent.

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You've probably watched both of these but Edge of Tomorrow and Oblivion fit what you're looking for.

If you want something trashy. Watch Species (Alien knock off).

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Edge of tomorrow

saw it but not shit scifi atleast imo

Yeah been a while since I watched Oblivion, forgot most of it. ty, starting download now :marseythumbsup:

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If you're exclusively looking for low brow sci-fi watch Galaxy of Terror. It has a very good giant worm on hot chick r*pe scene

!kino.

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Is it worse than Mars Attacks or Starship Troopers or Alien Resurrection?

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Definitely worse than all of that.

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originally released as Mindwarp: An Infinity of Terror

They should have kept this.

the film is also known for indirectly starting actor Bill Paxton's career. At this time, Paxton was not an actor

And he still isn't.

Looks like there are tons of free places to watch it (ad supported).

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x20exiv

!pirates

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and he still isn't

Well, obviously, considering he died in 2017...

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>starship troopers

>Bad

!r-slurs come get your guy

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>chud hates starship trooper

Water is moist

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? Chuds love starship troopers

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Starship Troopers had it's moments. Very uneven. Verhoeven is like your favorite dog. Great as long as you keep a firm hand on the leash and pay attention to anything she gets in her mouth.

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NOOO WE CAN'T WATCH A REALLY FRICKING GOOD TOM CRUISE MOVIE BECAUSE I'M A GAY EDGELORD AND I'M AN ALIEN AND PROBABLY LIBYAN AND I THINK F-16s ARE BETTER AND I'M A SOYJACK!!!

:#soycry:

Actual footage of this user. c. Right fricking now. This how much of a crybaby communist he is.

Try watching this. I hope it doesn't hurt your kitty too much when it hits.

:#marseyfuckyou:

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neighbor I said Edge of Tomorrow doesn't come into shitty scifi in my opinion. Its a great movie I saw many times before. The theme here is shitty alien movies

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Wait why am I mad at you then? Did aliens put me into a time-warp???

:#marseydizzy:

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https://media.tenor.com/ZWXFwy_PoxkAAAAx/hello-chris.webp

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It's not the first time. :marseyrain:

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Battleship - 10/10

Lmao

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If you specifically want a film that's aliens vs boats it's a quality movie

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I don't know why they're rating it "so bad it's good" when it's just a forgettable and generic CGI-fest

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There's a really hot black chick in it and I'm still not interested like I would be in a mid-1990s movie.

:#marseyreading:

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Independence Day - 8/10

Battleship - 10/10

Battle LA - 2/10 -

Wow literally subhuman trash tier rating there buddy :#marseyrecycling:

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I like alien & boom boom :marseyindignant:

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That makes your ranking even worse :marseysipping:

Battle LA is 9/10 on a "guilty pleasure" scale, its so much better than independence day.

Never watched battleship tbqh

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Adding to my list of people to ever even consider taking seriously about literally anything ever.

:m#arseynotes:

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Battleship was such trash how did you even enjoy it

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Ships and aliens, never been done before. IDK about the characters/storyline and shit, the CGI and sound were great

@RWBY

I mean look at this masterpiece

you know what i am gonna rewatch it :marseyindignant:

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IDK about the characters/storyline and shit, the CGI and sound were great

Dramatards complain about MCU then go watch CGI alien slop lmao.

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MCU was fine till endgame, and then it turned into MSheeU which is when the slop started

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age of ultron

captain marvel

black widow

thor darkworld

iron man 3

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https://media.tenor.com/jG8w28ZCne0AAAAx/yeah-yeah-you-got-a-point-calvin-payne.webp

I only remember the avengers movies

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Europa report, Arrival, Sunshine, District 9, Moon

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Altered, directed by same guy who did Blair Witch. I unironically liked it.

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3 body problem


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the series? I saw it already the bimbo with lip fillers almost ruined the show for me

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I think this might be the only show that I like that everyone else hates. I usually shit on 90% of the shows out there too. I don't get it.


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I liked the show, that bimbo was very distracting, you are talking about the netflix version right?

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Yesh


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Just watched Independence Day yesterday on the flight. It holds up. It's also what put me in the mood for Armageddon for whatever reason

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Good alien shit-scifi: They Live

Good alien good-scifi not yet mentioned in the thread: The Abyss and Predator

No aliens but really good shit-scifi: Total Recall (the original with arnold) and Escape From LA

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They Live is a good movie but it's not scifi. It's a paranoid antisemitic fever dream by a guy doesn't realize he hates Jews and only works because Roddy Piper and Keith David are such chads.

Roddy Piper was a fricking legend in Portland.

Escape From LA

:#marseyyikes:

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carpenter is a hack and should be nailed to a cross

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Not untrue. But kurt russell is always kino.

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Independence Day was terrible but it was the definition of good terrible. I mean unironically that could have started an entire genre of stupid movies.

Oddly enough it turned out that Stargate spawned like 10 years of okay TV shows and Independence Day is largely forgotten now.

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I loved it when I saw in the theaters but then we had only one hollywood movie per month released

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No unironically they were better back then. I swear to God this is not just nostalgia. There's two periods when good movies were ever made: 1945-early 1950s and 1980s-1990s.

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I'm very much a navy guy (even my dad didn't beat me that hard about it as a child), he said "at least it's not the 1st Cavalry Division or Americal" :marseysmug2:).

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I watched blade runner 2049. Never seen the first movie but it still made sense

Good movie

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BR1 has an identical plot to every single 80s man-on-the-run slop. "He was the good guy, but the other good guys betrayed him because they were also kind of bad, and now he's a man on the run, and then he kills some of the people chasing him, and he gets away."

The visuals and setting are different, but the way the story unfolds isn't.

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So was all of 2000s action movies just apeing the 80s cus i swear we got 20 of those a year growing up (or maybe thats just cus i hated the Bourne movies as a kid)

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snoozecore film

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Who is the "good guy on the run"? Deckard? He doesn't go rogue until the last few minutes of the film and technically does everything by the book in his investigation. Roy Batty? While a sympathetic villain, I would hardly classify him as a "good guy" running away from the system that slighted him. He is lashing out against humanity as the "unjust creators" and fulfills the role of android Prometheus. The original book doesn't even paint the fugitive replicants in any positive light and mostly focuses on their trademark lack of empathy.

The 1982 film is an attempt to stage a noir film in the future setting. The very first original release even had a voiceover from Deckard explaining what his character was thinking in between scenes, akin to the noir classics. That voiceover is absolutely terrible by the way, as Harrison Ford can't be bothered to act most of the times.

Calling it a "man-on-the-run" film is quite ignorant and betrays your lack of genre knowledge, sorry!

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I watched YouTube essay slop and then wanted to kill myself out of shame

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Stop having shame about stupid shit

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For me it's not so much shame as it is grief for the time I just lost on a fricking video essay

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i watched america getting destroyed in day after tomorrow

:platyblizzard:

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Reported by:
  • evanhelsing : Batman Begins is the best one. DK scenes without ledger=cringe. DKR= talia death, "i came to stop u"

I rewatched the Nolan Batman trilogy and I was surprised by how bad they were. Batman begins and The Dark Knight are so fricking corny. They're trying so hard to be cool and edgy that it becomes funny. The Dark Knight is still good, it just wants so badly to be a different film. The Dark Knight Rises gets the tone right (or maybe I was just used to it by that point) but almost nothing else right. The opening is legendary, the film could end there and it would be worth it. :marseybane:

I watched Megalopolis as well. I really enjoyed it. Pure, unpalatable, self indugent cinema. Half the audience walked out before it was done. The plot is really weak, but it has some fun performances, some good performances, and it looks fricking excellent. It feels about an hour longer than it is though.

Also, does anyone know if there are more films like Indiana Jones/The Mummy/Pirates of the Caribbean? I'm talking relatively light historical-themed action adventure films. These three have such a specific tone to them, I love them but I've never really seen anything similar. I rewatched them all semi-recently and it's left me wanting more. :marseymummy: :marseypirate: :marseyflaginthumbsup:

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Also, does anyone know if there are more films like Indiana Jones/The Mummy/Pirates of the Caribbean? I'm talking relatively light historical-themed action adventure films.

Try big trouble in little china


https://files.catbox.moe/y2zrro.png https://i.rdrama.net/images/172082001273549.webp

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Kino

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S*x nugga

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Backdoor Sluts 9

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Hentai

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Speak no evil (2022)- trash and it's getting an american remake in cinemas right now, just don't watch either of them

The ballad of Narayama (1983)- not invested in japanese culture so really have no idea what it was about, but it was an interesting film to see how agrarian societies in general lived.

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I watched Road Warrior and Thunderdome last week.

All of TW is good, think the same plot as Fury Road but with with mullets and every aesthetic that inspired Fallout 1+2.

The first half of Thunderdome is terrible but once Max leaves Bartertown and meets those kids, they did a really good job with creating their weird John From cult and spaceman language. Then it gets bad again once Tina Turner is back in screen.

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just watched mummy for the first time since i was a kid

https://media.tenor.com/Qq-XB_mSnd8AAAAx/imhotep-the-mummy.webp

the cgi beetles used to scare me shitless

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IMHOTEP

:#marseyletsfuckinggo2:

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Hi hotep I'm himothy

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i kneel for the new pharaoh

:!marseykneel: :!marseypharaoh:

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Watched Speed (1994) :marsey#sonic:

Kino. :marseykino: One of the best action movies ever made.

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Watching Armageddon as I type this

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Megalopolis, 0/10

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Judging by the clips that shit looks completely unwatchable

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Yeah it is.

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Watched Jurassic Park

:#marseydinosaur:

Shocked at how bad the new ones are in comparison. CGI has made modern filmmaking so lazy that there's really no appreciation for storytelling.

The first film didn't need raptors with lasers on their heads or giant volcanoes blowing up the island, it's like it's been dumbed down for a new generation.

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It's amazing how well that movie has held up. It came out 30 years ago and you wouldn't be able to spot the difference between that and something that came out today. Probably the most ageless movie ever made.


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17121718107069042.webp

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Some of the CG doesn't look great (early wide shots of dinos) but it's minor enough that it doesn't impact the story. Contrast that to something like Jurassic World and it'll age like milk as the whole film is a CG fest.

The main place it shows it's age is actually the computers more than anything else. The story is still fantastic

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I watched "evil", tv show about a Catholic priest and his secular colleagues who investigate potential demonic possessions. Its good but it never reaches a climax, also always dark and depressing, also a lot of the plot relies on the church not believing the protagonists when they say "this obviously evil guy is evil" and I cant stand that trope so I had to stop.

Now I'm watching DS9.

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New penguin tonight. 8/10 kino so far bros.


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slop licker

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Don't ask questions. Just consume YouTube essay and get excited for next essay.


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Finished season 3 of Upload. Honestly not even worth the time. The writers can't decide if they're writing a serious drama or a comedy. Plot is all over the place and makes so sense.


:!marseybooba:

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Watched Apartment 7A or whatever the rosemarys baby prequel was. I didn't think it was too bad, but rosemarys baby is probably better. I think it should have leaned more into what people sacrifice to be famous and chase dreams but I get that is probably overplayed in movies about dancing.

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Rosemarys baby was absolutely twisted. Really good movie though. I still feel uncomfortable just writing this.

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Watched Sweeney Todd, holy shit musical movies are so gay. This movie is made for edgy theather kids. 5/10

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The show called From just started its third season and it's great. Made by some of the producers from Lost and staring the same guy that played Michael on Lost. Unfortunately it's stuck on obscure streaming platform MGM+ but it's also easily available on your pirate site of choice which is how I watch it. Horror mystery mindfrick show where the cast is stuck in a weird small town and tormented by monsters.


https://files.catbox.moe/y2zrro.png https://i.rdrama.net/images/172082001273549.webp

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I can't stop watching but I also hate watching people losing their shit and screaming. Grew up with a bunch of people who lose their shit and screaming all the time. And I also hate Tom Cruise syndrome WHERE SOMEBODY IS TREATING SOMEONE LIKE A MORON FOR NOT KNOWING SOMETHING THEY WOULD HAVE NO REASON TO BELIEVE. I should hate this show really.

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The practical effects for the Michael Bay movie set in southern Lebanon have been excellent viewing the past week.

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The Bad Guys

its finally confirmed as it was known, dreamworks is superior to pixar

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I watched Twilight of the Gods.

It was a netflix show.

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Snappy is fricking embarrassing and needs to go

Whoever made that useless piece of shit bot is fricking embarrassing, do the mods hire 12 year old's to code that shit? fricking pathetic butt comments that aren't funny just straight cringey and embarrassing, what a disservice that bot does to this site. Literally I believe snappy causes mass shooters to snap and commit atrocities because who the frick could live knowing that comment snappy made existed? Truly a dumb butt mod decision, you should be fricking embarrassed of yourselfs for ever thinking that was a good idea.

I'd rather scroll on reddit politics and read every single comment until I die then have to endure another shit butt comment from snappy, frick whoever decided to make that account, I hope you end up getting skinned by the cartel for it dumb butt

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