Someone asked for my boner comedy treatment script. I'm not posting the whole thing but here are the details I've released here and elsewhere.

"Anyone showing their tits and butt is over 18; just severely challenged"

I remember writing a modern one of these but it's a black comedy that ends when they all get r*ped at gunpoint by a perverted cuck who makes them all frick his she-beast wife. The final is them sitting around and quietly sobbing and the final line is "were we just r*ped?" "Yep"

"Dude! We're finally getting laid!"

"Read the room dude"

"Upon consulting with my spiritual advisor Father McCoughlin and my personal care physician Dr. Goldenstein I have decided not to get an abortion and instead put my child up for adoption to whichever desperate family gives me the best offer and offers her, for I know it is a female, the best potential life. I want him to start life with all the advantages I never had, like a present father, a mother who isn't a drunken alcoholic slut who fricked so many guys before flunking out of her affirmative action scholarship she doesn't know which fraternity the father belonged, a grandmother who can cook something that won't give you a heart attack and won't give you sabotaged condoms "to discourage your whoring" , a chaste responsible cousin who won't call her a "stupid whore", a younger brother who won't try to crumble arbortificant into her breakfast cereal, and a grandfather who won't beat your boyfriend into a coma for getting you pregnant and thus render him unable to either propose marriage or offer mental and emotional support. In conclusion, my family sucks and I don't intend to burden another young women with our terrible terrible legacy. God bless all of you except them!"

(Scene opens at the country club's outdoor patio. The sound of tennis and children splashing around the pool are heard)

There is a good-looking women leaving the first blooms of youth and entering the beginning stages of middle age in a smart-looking formal blouse and skirt. Sitting across from her is an absurd Noel Coward/Maurice Chevalier style homosexual dandy poof in the height of Great Gatsby era fashion. He is Vaping with an absurd steampunk looking contraption in spite of the" no-smoking" sign

"You shouldn't take the demands for a college fund for her and the child so personally darling! She'z not trying to Hurt you." He takes a long and exaggerated puff on the pen while staring straight a t the maitre'd, who glares at him with the hate only felt by housewives and hosts for people who drag mud in or smoke in the non-smoking section. "It's just a way for her to ensure the best life possible for her child." The camera drifts away over to the pool, where we see James, our shy chad hero and the lifeguard, pulling a morbidly obese man out of the pool and performing a grossly realistic cpr scene.