EFFORTPOST Reviewing Concord: Tale of the Implacable (Prime Video g*mershow-slop)

Whoever chose the title was doing a bit of trolling

Concord and implacability, name a more iconic duo

Episode opens with shitty pirate accent voice about Concord's lore. FTL travel exists but randomly kills people sometimes

TFW traveling through the limitless reaches of space at hyperlight speeds but you get sniped by a screw

Scene cuts to random woman(?) bound up

Dollar store Thanos confirms that the protag is a foid. Apparently she has some special chip that Thanos wants to extract.

We cut to a new character

He seems to be working with a grumpy

The two men spring into action, opening a door containing the Black lady. , , and a doctor all spring into action. They free the woman, smash a window, and try ziplining away. Thanos cuts the zipline Lots of MCU-style quips

There was also this character distracting some guards in the background. Apparently another member of the crew

The teletubby starts blasting Thanos with its finger guns. Teletubby gets shot in the head, but is revealed to be a talking fish.

Some trash mobs swarm the crew, I guess they're looking to another crew member for backup. "They say Julius is amazing. Always on, always ready..."

He wasn't actually ready lmfao!!!! Typical worthless tbh .

Sniper tells him they need to go so he closes the ramp and starts to leave . The rest of the crew make it half a second before the ship launches. The Captain(?) isn't seen reaching the ship. They bicker for a while, until a scary guard enters the room holding them at gunpoint. Surprise, it's actually the Black woman captain!!!

They for a bit about whether or not the captain has secured the valuable route through space. She did . Apparently the chip she had in her arm grants access to every single guild navigation route.

Cuts to the guild attacking the ship. The ship loses all of its fins(??) that allow it to steer. Julius starts to so takes back over on the ship.

Somehow, everyone randomly starts passing out

But wait! Julius is shown wearing a gas mask and walking away with a smug look. Is the blond white male a traitor?

Cut to waking up from the knockout gas. Julius and Thanos are chatting on Zoom. Thanos wants the chip and and promises to leave the rest of the crew alone. Surprisingly, the crew seems cool with this and asks for a bounty. The bounty is large

12,500,000 MONEYS!?!?!

gets up and challenges Julius to tie her down . He gets nervous and unfastens to back him up. But SURPRISE! is still loyal to the captain! He opens the airlock, killing Julius and nobody else.

gives a hand.

This gives an idea. She uploads the chip and its trade routes to the galactic internet

Thanos rages, the crew accelerate forward with their ship, heading straight into the big scary storm foreshadowed earlier.

There's a gay slowmo montage of them all nodding at each other as purple storm magic swirls around them. The bartender who has been telling this whole story reveals that they may have survived, because he has the funko pop that they brought onto that ship.

Final Rating: 3/10 . ChatGPT writes Guardians of the Galaxy fanfiction. I shouldn't have wasted my time watching and reviewing this garbage. I hope this post is long enough to count as an effortpost, but if it isn't, the least you can do is upmarsey me or donate some dramacoin for going to all this trouble and saving you from having to watch this terrible episode. Thanks!