EFFORTPOST The tale of Robert Stanek, an OG literary lolcow who spent 20 years LARPing as a famous fantasy novelist with thousands of sockpuppets

!writecel !bookworms IN IN IN!!!!

Introduction

The early 2000's. Occasionally, a piece of fantasy fiction would break out of the nerd ghetto and hit it big--the crossover appeal of Harry Potter, or the hit film adaptations of The Lord of the Rings. But aside from these occasional breaches, the body of fantasy fandom remained siloed into web forums or in-person conventions that were often invisible to outsiders. Genre aficionados passionately discussed and debated authors who were household names to them, yet who most normies had never even heard of--people like George R. R. Martin, Robert Jordan... or Robert Stanek.

Who?

Well, it was a different time. Could one novelist toiling in semi-obscurity develop a rabid fandom without attracting the notice of the broader SF/F community? It was almost believable.

Almost.

Writing

Stanek's magnum opus, the Ruin Mist Chronicles, is about three heroes--a spoiled princess, a boy mage, and an elf warrior--who go on adventures or something idk. Even people who've read them don't seem too sure. Perhaps a look at Stanek's prose can tell you why.

With the corporeal form the soul was offered a place of refuge from torment and within this form there remained bits and pieces of what had once been individual discernment, and this caused them to both fear and greet the return to darkness with an unsettling expectancy that chilled Amir

This is how I write during NaNoWriMo tbh.

A sphere of brilliant blue-white light enshrouded a body, radiating, pulsating, when the power grew to its strongest in a dazzling array that when sent racing towards his foe turned night into day as opposing forces met in full fury.

When I want an effect like this I just tell the reader to throw the book and yell "BOOM!"

Ywentir with its protective maze had succumbed by a different means than its ill-fated sister though it too had eventually fallen; yet as Noman well knew, for he had been there, Tsitadel' had never fallen, though its survival had been by the barest of margins and through means perhaps darker than even the dark forces would have levied against it

"Slop" would be too kind a descriptor, this is more "sludge."

While there's no place to neatly fit this in, it bears mentioning that Stanek wrote ~4 of these things and has been rereleasing them with different names and covers for the past 20 years.

If people like this post I'll buy one of these shitters and do an actual review. Stanek's given me enough entertainment over the years that he almost deserves it. The snippets I'm quoting were gathered by Rorschach, the universe's #1 Stanek expert (see acknowledgments).

The Stanek Army

Robert Stanek's success certainly has put the indie book scene on the map. Before him there was no indie book scene like there is with music and movies. Now there is... and his success has been the driving force behind it without doubt. His success also makes him a target of big publishers (and some authors) who don't want indie books to succeed

These days, it's too easy to pretend to be famous. You can buy followers, pay Indians to comment on your Facebook posts, and even rig chatbots to do your bidding. But when the internet was young, this was hard work!

Ansible Magazine, May 2002:

“Amazon Mystery. Authors of fantasies on sale at Amazon.com have noticed a rash of oddly similar customer reviews that rubbish their work and instead recommend, say, George R.R. Martin, Robert Jordan, and Robert Stanek. The number of Big Name commendations varies, but not the plug for self-published author Robert Stanek. Who could possibly be posting these reviews (many since removed by Amazon) under a variety of names? It is a mystery, but Ansible is reminded of how Lionel Fanthorpe's pseudonymous sf would often mention those great classic masters of the genre, Verne, Wells and Fanthorpe.”

Most early internet lolcows had only a few sockpuppets, often with their own unique characters and backstories. Traditional sockpuppets created the impression of depth of support, but not necessarily breadth. Stanek, on the other hand, went for pure quantity. But sheer quantity can become quality in itself. He was doing the work of entire Indian click farms or a horde of GPT bots all by himself.

Amazon deleted most of his fake reviews around 2012, but you can spot some of them on the Wayback Machine. Unfortunately, a lot of his best activity is missing completely--his sockpuppets would beef with people on the Amazon forums, and most of that was never archived.

Stanekian socks were also prolific Wikipedia editors. Most infamously, one inserted the following language into Wikipedia's "literacy" article:

...Illiteracy is one of many themes in The Kingdoms and the Elvesof the Reaches books by Robert Stanek. In the books, many do not know how to read because there are no books for people to read. The only book most people have access to is the Great Book, which discusses the history of the realms and the laws of the land.

Stanek also created a circle of better-developed author "friends" (without pictures, of course) whose blogs were entirely dedicated to peepeeriding him and trashing the dang dirty trolls.

One of those writers Robert Stanek helped was me. After being laid off from my job as a teacher, with a newborn at home and alone after my husband abandoned us, my baby and I were a few unemployment checks away from homelessness.

True quality.

Stanek's pseudonyms even included """Emily Asimov,""" who Stanek would really like you to believe is Isaac Asimov's granddaughter.

Emily shows great promise and skill in her rendering a complex storyline that matches the foundation series. Extremely impressed with reading so far.

Stanekian Web Design

There's really nothing else to say here. I encourage you to check both these out and just drink them in, because that little screenshot does not even remotely do it justice:

• Stanek's Website (must-click)

• Stanek's Website but there's a hyphen in the address and they're different, stg

• Note: If the link does not work, manually delete the "s" from "https" and reload the page. Just do not submit your credit card information to Robert Stanek.

The Stanek Forum

Stanek is definetly better than Jordan, Goodkind and Martin and slightly superior for me even to Brooks and recent Eddings. If you take note of the fact that I'm Eddings-biased, the result will be that Stanek is the best current author of fantasy.

A few months back, @HeyMoon speculated that thanks to AI, it is now plausible to create an entire online community with few/no real users. But back in my day, you had to do it yourself!

Enter the Ruin Mist forum. Back before Reddit smooshed everything, it was pretty common for popular authors to have their own fan forums. And Robert Stanek was no exception.

I'm interested in something. Is Robert Stanek the most successful fantasy author, published by small press?

I hope so. He's a wonderful amazing author

No other indie published fantasy author I know of is as popular as RS. I don't even think there are any indie published authors as popular in any genre.

Robert Stanek's success certainly has put the indie book scene on the map. Before him there was no indie book scene like there is with music and movies. Now there is... and his success has been the driving force behind it without doubt. His success also makes him a target of big publishers (and some authors) who don't want indie books to succeed. Sad considering I read an article a few weeks back saying how 5 US publishers control 83% of the US book market. The world needs more great authors like RS!

Mr. Stanek is certainly alone against myriad of vile enemies - the big publishers, the rival smal press publishers and the vanity press authors. They are all jealous of Mr. Stanek success, despite that this success if good for all of them. But I believe that Mr. Stanek's talent and devotion will prevail. :-/

None of the characters on this forum talk in any depth, including about the Ruin Mist books, and all of them sound alarmingly similar.

tolkien's characters and stanek's which ones you like and why?

Stanek's characters. I can feel them as friends and real people, unlike JRRT'ones, who are... heroes from a book and nothing more.

Stanek's characters are have flaws and personalities and like hopes and desires. I like how Emel and Adrina have a past together and it makes like there current relation more interesting. Same for Myrial and Adrina, Valam and Adrina. Xith has secrets it makes him interesting so does Vilmos.

Tolkien's characters reimnd me of robots wh oare prgrammed to dop things rather than have their own thuogghts.

i dont know i liked both. i do hear you about robots ;D adrina and vilmos seem flesh and blood. not so sure about aragorn and legalos and gimli

According to the ASOIAF forumgoers, Stanek does have one real fan: "Sparhawk," the owner of a small a Bulgarian fantasy magazine. I guess there's someone out there for everyone.

The Museum of Stanekian Art

I don't actually think his line art is terrible, but he really never learned how to shade or color. It's got this distinctive smudgy look and is just impossible to read from any sort of distance.

Of course, Stanek knows he's so good at art that he took the liberty of creating graphic novel adaptations.

Care to buy a print for $200?

Lolcow meltdowns

If you defeat enough of Stanek's thralls, you might just get a shot at the Dark Lord himself.

The people at the sites are likely the same ones who thought it was funny to stalk and harass readers of my books who voiced opinions online. They knew most of my readers are children, and also knew most of the readers they stalked and harassed online were children. They did not care. They did it because they think they can do or say anything online without repercussions. Well, someone someday will give them what they deserve, I'm certain. In prison, people like them usually get shanked.

Despite these indictments Amazon is and remains the most corrupt marketplace on Earth, and this corruption goes from the bottom to the very top of the company, as evidenced by what has happened to my books for the past twenty years whenever I filed official complaints.

They deleted your reviews, huh?

"David Langford did willfully and with malice of forethought cause material and economic harm to Robert Stanek through his online column."

Robert Stanek, Ace Attorney

The individuals who are trying to ruin my reputation have been spreading malicious, untrue rumors about me for the past five years. For the last few years, they've been doing the same to my publisher. As someone who has given all his life to his country and his community, I simply do not understand this continued and prolonged harassment of me personally. Not liking a book is one thing, reaching into every corner of cyberspace to spread malicious, untrue rumors is something else entirely.

I am asking members of the book community to help stop these activities, which appear to be hate crimes against a person who has never professed his politics, religious beliefs, or war stance. There is enough intolerance in the world; there does not need to be such intolerance in the book community. For those who have been a part of these activities, if I've misunderstood your intent, write to me and let me know so. I am not afraid to make a correction to statements that I've determined to be false. I would ask the same of you as well.

Stanek discovers AI

Sadly, nothing gold can stay.

I'd always thought Stanek deep down enjoyed writing his books. Otherwise, why would he have spent 20 years trying to prop them up despite their lack of sales? But unfortunately, the siren song of le AI revolution has ensnared another one. Stanek decided to shit out a 200 page self-help book slathered in AI stank. Fortunately, at least this means we can finally get a conclusion to the Ruin Mist saga.

• "Embrace Chaos, Find Purpose" stands as a bold departure from the conventional narratives often found in personal growth literature, such as those presented in "The Secret" and "The Purpose Driven Life." While these books have their unique strengths and have positively impacted many, our book carves out a distinct path in the realm of self-improvement and personal development. Here's how:

• Rebellious and Unfiltered Approach: Unlike "The Secret," which focuses on the Law of Attraction and positive thinking, "Embrace Chaos, Find Purpose" adopts a more irreverent and unfiltered tone. It challenges readers to confront life's messiness head-on, embracing chaos as a catalyst for growth rather than seeking to control or simply manifest a different reality.

• Active Engagement with Life's Complexities: In contrast to the faith-based and somewhat prescriptive approach of "The Purpose Driven Life," our book emphasizes active engagement with life's complexities. It encourages readers to carve their paths through the chaos of life, fostering a sense of purpose that is deeply personal and evolving.

• Celebration of Individuality and Authenticity: "Embrace Chaos, Find Purpose" places a strong emphasis on individuality and authenticity. It diverges from the more general guidelines of "The Purpose Driven Life" and the universal principles of "The Secret" by encouraging readers to find their unique voice and path, even if it means going against societal norms or expectations.

In the future, if someone ever starts spouting a bullet pointed list at you, start shooting. It's either an AI or a LinkedIn influencer.

Speaking of which, I won't directly link his LinkedIn here due to its well-known glowie properties, this is part of yet another failed Stanek grift.

In 2020, William transitioned into AI research and development, leveraging his expertise to drive strategic innovation and provide visionary insights through his whitepapers and talks. Beyond his technical acumen, he brings a unique blend of creativity as a writer and artist, underscoring his commitment to ethical leadership in the realm of AI.

In the mid 90's, online businesses following William Stanek's original concepts and technological innovations, helped to create the foundations of the commercial Internet. His seminal, early works for Macmillan were the first of their kind and provided the framework for early e-commerce and e-publishing. These same works introduced the concepts and developed frameworks for intranets, extranets, e-books, online magazines, and daily news websites—all concepts years ahead of their time and first published about and developed by William.

While his claims here are obviously full of shit, Stanek does know at least something about technology--his "real job" involves writing manuals for Microsoft products. The rest of his output is just an extremely expensive hobby.

Selected Episodes

Stanek pretends to be friends with Brian Jacques

This one is the Last Supper of Stanek lore. He posted this picture of himself with fantasy novelist Brian Jacques and insinuated that this was a joint book signing. Later, he'd claim the two were besties. Online, everyone accused him of photoshopping himself in. While Stanek did attend the other author's event, he manipulated the image to make himself appear as a cohost rather than a random fan. To this day, his legs have never been found.

The Stanek kids book series

There isn't really much to say about these other than the fact that he shat out like a hundred of them and they're fricking hideous.

Stanek fakes his own death and then just never mentions it again

Goodnight Robert, Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Stars, Air & Noises Everywhere

8/6/2020

After hearing about Robert, I broke down in tears, fits and sobs really, the kind reserved for family because Robert Stanek was like a father to some of us in the writing community, a favorite uncle, Uncle Robert, to others, and a valued mentor to a great, great many. So many writers, hundreds really, owe their start in writing and careers to this guy, and the same is true of thousands who work in Big Tech, on web-based platforms or in web-based businesses. This guy taught them all how to set up those very businesses. This guy who was larger than life. This guy who was so down to earth. This guy who was so humble. This guy who so loved life. This guy who so loved family. This guy who took care of everyone else. This guy who gave and gave and gave over so many decades to so many and never asked for anything in return.

The sneaky obituary never actually claimed he was dead, so maybe Stanek would have us believe this was a fake retirement? But anyway he forgot about it after a couple days and is back to his usual shenanigans. Welcome back, Lord Stanek!

Conclusion

So, why does he do it? After studying Stanek for many years, I don't know. Perhaps originally he just wanted to entertain people. Or perhaps he thought being a fantasy novelist was easy money. But in either case, when that didn't work, he began constructing an elaborate set of lies--far too many to recount in a single post. While a lot of what Stanek does online is fake, the rage seems real. Stanek knows he deserves fame and riches. What happens when he doesn't don't get it?

Something truly special.

Thanks to the advances of technology, it's now pretty easy to fake a vast following. But Robert Stanek did it himself, the hard way, paving the way for a multitude. Right now there are probably hundreds of Stanek-likes out there, but they miss the pure passion it requires to do it all yourself. I know that Robert Stanek is not really a world-famous bestselling author. But he's famous to me.

Acknowledgements

1. The ultimate keeper of Stanek lore is Rorschach, who runs a literary snark site called Conjugal Felicity. The site springs from the "sporking" community (Web 1.0 litcrit for insecure teenage writoids, and how I got into writing). CF has been updated very sporadically in recent years, but Rorschach recently renewed the domain. With his return, it's a perfect time to get into the wonderful world of Stanek. CF has a detailed 9-part article about Stanek's pre-2012 shenanigans, as well as sporkings of several Ruin Mist books. As of press time the site is down yet again, but most of it is viewable on the Wayback Machine.

• Conjugal Felicity

• Rorschach's Stanek articles and sporks

2. The Web 1.0 SFF fandom deserves a major shoutout. Traditional forums and blogs are disappearing and everything has been replaced by Reddit, Groomercord, or nothing. History becomes legend. Legend becomes myth. Already, so much of Stanek lore is forgotten, with original sources lost or deleted. As I dug through the graveyard of the internet to create this post, I felt a sense of profound loss. Love to all the people who hung out with their internet buddies and snarked about books before everything turned to shit.

• The Wertzone

• Ansible

• Westeros

• Trufen

3. Despite the work of my forerunners, it is still impossible to create a definitive Robert Stanek post because the man has been doing this stuff for over 20 years. While some of his shenanigans are lost to the sands of time, there's a veritable trove of unexplored idiocy--books no one's read, blogs no one's seen, angry replies that got deleted. So the ultimate credit goes to Robert Stanek, creator of Ruin Mist!