Foid paralysed by stage-diving, dad-bodded punk rocker. Possibly a train- I can't tell because punk chicks are all pretty rough looking

I was front row, a stage diver jumped with a guitar cable tangled around his leg, and suddenly the guitarist went flying off the stage too. It looked like one of those delayed Loonie Tunes "yoink" cartoons. He landed on his back (still playing guitar bless him).

He got back on stage but his cable was stuck in the crowd, wrapped around a few people. The cable was right next to my face so I was holding it to make sure it didn't whip up suddenly and hit me. The stage manager was pulling it furiously while stood on the stage in front of me and must have thought that I was pulling it back from him, so he punched me in the face. Of course that was the exact second when the cable went loose and so the stage manager will have thought it was me pulling it.

The whole show was absolute bedlam. The lead singer (a massive meathead) kept trying to climb the speaker stacks which were wobbling, and he was swinging off the rafters like a monkey. There were roadies everywhere trying to stop speakers falling into the crowd. They played past curfew time and had to do the last song with no vocals because the venue turned off the main mixer. RIP Leeds Cockpit, it was a really cool venue in a railway arch.