Farting at the gym between sets

I'm talking from the deepest pits of Mordor and my butt is speaking The Black Speech. Peeling the paint off the walls, heat mirages in the air, actual stink lines emanating. I'm surprised I haven't been asked to leave.

I was initially tempted to not wipe down the equipment just to make it a permanent part of the gym, but that's too far.

Update: I checked my skivvies cuz I was nervous but I'm clean