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received a very sternly worded email that we have to go into the office at least two days a week starting immediately

Prior to this it was one day a week and very weakly enforced (basically not at all). Sounds like the higher ups are getting a lot more forceful and I expect they'll increase it to three days before the end of the year. They haven't straight up said they'll be pulling badge swipes to check but I wouldn't be surprised if they start.

Might just ignore it and start looking for another job lmao, I live 40 minutes from the office (was fully remote when I was hired) and I don't want to do that drive twice a week in heavy traffic, in the winter. I wouldn't be surprised if they're also using this as a way to reduce headcount without having to pay unemployment. Hiring basically stopped more than a year ago and while they haven't done any layoffs in the area I work in yet for the past six months I've had the feeling they kinda want to.

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Just don't go.

If they they "fire" you go, on unemployment and find another job, since that's what you want to do anyways.

Frick em

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