My insurance approved me for Spravato (esketamine)!!! I start tomorrow!!!
It's inhaled (a spray) and then you hang out in a room for 2 hours. They said not to listen to music with words & that it peaks at about 40 mins. You aren't allowed to drive until the next day.
I've failed maybe 8 SSRI/SNRIs in my life and I'm currently on an off label (ie really fricking high) dosage of Prozac but still having acute suicidal ideation (SI).
Ketamine is an NMDA antagonist and works differently than SSRIs. A lot of people get relief from SI immediately after the first session but sometimes it takes a couple.
I'm so happy I finally might get some relief from my despair and suffering. I am really reaching “last resort” in terms of what's available to me. I have electro shock therapy left and that's about it. Hoping this works.
Has anyone else here done it?
Edit: I'm out of benefactor awards just fyi
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OD.
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Ketamine is fun with a baseline dose of MDMA and lines of cocaine as needed.
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Get your hot air balloon
license next.
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You sure taking more drugs is the way to get your life back on track?
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you should try hammering nails into your scrotum
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My mom had it done like a year ago. Same boat as you, kind of a last resort/kitchen sink thing. She thinks it didn't do much and I would agree.
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Oooh let us know if it's like Party Monster. Bring some EDM
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I've been on ketamine twice, both times for when I was having broken bones reduced (re-set). I've never taken any drugs otherwise, so the first time was an absolutely wild experience. I thought I was being abducted by aliens or reincarnated or something. Felt really good on the come-down though. I knew what to expect the second time, and it just felt really nice the whole time. Couldn't really feel any parts of my body at all, but it kind of felt like I was wrapped in a warm blanket. After those experiences, I understood why some people love opiates so much.
I'm sure getting it administered intravenously to the point where you're barely conscious is quite different from taking it as a nasal spray though. I wish you the best.
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anasthetia doses are way higher than it would be for depression, also IV vs inhalant has it's own impact on how it feels, milder doses its like a mix of opiates/cocaine/being drunk, just a nice warm glidey feeling
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Anyone have a link to whatever the new silk road is?? Used to buy k all the time from there.
I made $1,500 off a ketamine trial but it was awful. Was stuck in a mental hospital as the ONLY client, no tv or anything and after giving me K they'd ask me all these depressing questions like why does your life suck?? Why is it a good idea to keep yourself safe? They were really trying to get me to
LOL
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The grillcast died for this
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This actually made me sad. Frozen you clearly have the female predisposition to attention seeking from fricking weirdos but don't keep yourself safe bro. That would be super gay. And I would be sad if you didn't post random gossipy b-word drama.
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I hope she dies
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I hate pharmacels with a fiery passion
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You go, girl! FroCho junkie era
let's go!!!
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i now understand why you bother with this medical hoopla
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I had it and it solved my depression and suicidality overnight. I felt normal and happy for the first time in decades and it lasted 4 months.
I had a big dose intravenously though, not the spray so don't know if it has the same effect.
Hope it works for you, it's magical.
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Wow thank you!
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Why no music with words in it
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I guess it distracts you from the process
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Go offline. Seriously, it will improve your mental health. This isn't you-specific advice either.
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You're really right. I should intermittent fast rdrama
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That's not the same thing and you know it.
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I do think you're right, it's just very hard.
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If it wasn't hard it wouldn't be so necessary. I also think you haven't actually tried that hard to do it before either. Turn it all off and you'll feel better and you know it.
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Can you get me unbanned on kf
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Yes. I have that power.
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Least obvious
Johnny 
is the account thx king
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K holing wont fix ur brain bb, but have fun
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Frocho K-Hole posting soon?
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Praying for your inevitable recovery
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Have you tried just getting better?
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Please post here 40min after they dose you
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Spravato sucked for me. They're highly limited in terms of dosage they can give, and I have a large tolerance for most forms of drugs, so the 84mg dosage was not enough to induce the psychoactive effects that correlate with the medicine actually working. IV ket was way more effective, but the effects wear off faster and its prohibitively expensive. Ended up finding a doctor willing to write me a script for a higher dosage of nasal ketamine from a compounding pharmacy, and that's what ultimately did the trick for me.
That being said. Do not do ECT. Anything else before that. The long-term memory effects cost me three years of my life.
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Wow. Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you have been through a lot. Glad you were able to find a good doctor to help.
Well, going to try it. I am also on an off label dose of Prozac (double the max) and doing weekly therapy with a really great pdoc. I am hoping therapy helps me heal and Spravato helps with the SI. We will see. Like you I am also resistant to low doses of a lot of drugs. :/
I am pretty scared of ECT. Not planning on doing it.
Thank you so much for your input and sharing your experience. It is really helpful for me, truly. Sounds like we have a lot in common haha
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Fun goes to die for a reason.
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I assume you've tried all the atypical antidepressants? Bupropion, amphetamines, mirtazapine, lamotrigine, etc? I sincerely hope ur psychiatrists haven't just tried SSRIs and SNRIs and then thrown up their hands and called it a day.
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I have tried some of those, yes. Also I have a supremely competent psychiatrist (Northwestern) now so you don't need to worry. I'm getting some of the best care in the country.
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based
hope ket works for you kween
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Tried shrooms? I don't remember that post
Hope ketamine helps.
Why not just start over somewhere new, try a different life you are happier with?
Read what I wrote above. Now picture in your head that I put a /s at the end. Good job sweaty!
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I've tried them, even grew them. They helped immensely. I am too scared to go off the Prozac to do it (doesn't work while on SSRIs) since I get worse really quickly and it takes a month to get Prozac out of your system. But thank you and yes shrooms are great!
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What about dmt? It's been a while but the acid/base extraction was pretty easy to do and you can buy the plants/roots that contain high amounts pretty easy and it's not illegal to buy them. My gf was looking at ketamine and there are websites that will send it to you at home. You talk to an online shrink and give them your license they send it to you if you don't want to go somewhere to do it. Might not be bad to be supervised at first. I feel like it's not something that's going to make you panic or anything but falling or hurting yourself is a real possibility if you don't know how it's going to affect you.
Read what I wrote above. Now picture in your head that I put a /s at the end. Good job sweaty!
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Saved your comment. Thanks for advice. I'm also almost at my OOP max so may as well bill insurance and get it for free lol I know I can use mindbloom in the future though.
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I hope it works! Also you may be interested in seeing other providers at some point. That's really restrictive. Then again some providers in California will mail in your doses to use at home how you want so
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My condolences for you living in California
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Quasi-legal drug home delivery tempers the negatives if you're into that sort of thing. Personally I like the parks and money.
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/h/equestria welcomes you with open forelegs.
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lets get r-slurred when I come to Chicago
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Prescribed for TRD? What I've seen is short term efficacy in ppl who are an immediate suicide risk, for about 2 weeks while something else is figured out. Data for long term use isn't very good. It's fun though so enjoy
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Thanks. You're an MD, right? My psychiatrist said he didn't have an opinion since they don't do it much there but I have decided to try it because I need some urgent relief from my suffering.
I am an immediate suicide risk unfortunately :(
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Yes but don't deal with this area though remember in my phd for neurosci the big paper for ket came out of yale circa 2016
Good for your psychiatrist not running ketamine infusion clinic and not selling you on it is a sign they might be good
Hang in there but not literally. It's an interesting world and you'll only have to put up with it once
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Literally
no on will listen 
to the fact ket isn't any sort of longterm solution
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i wish i was white sometimes
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Don't hog it all
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Don't do drugs. It's for weak people
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Bro check out this awesome song about doing k and driving.
This post rests on native land.
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Grats Queen
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