I'm supposed to be tapering but I took 4 benzos today 
already. I feel sick if I don't take them, they make me feel normal. I actually 
feel productive after taking benzos. Without them I feel like dying. I don't want to wean, I want to ramp up but I know I should 
be doing the opposite. They help me sometimes but I can't stay addicted 
to pills 
my whole life.
The calm they hit you with is irresistable. It's like nothing matters anymore. You can just focus on the good parts of life. Maybe listen 
to some music, write, work. It's all good and flows smoothly. Why can't life always be like this?
Sneed's Seed & Feed (Formerly Chuck's)
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Having been through a benzo addiction and taper/withdrawal, it sucks man. Idk how else to tell you, just know one day you're gonna wake up really fricking pissed at yourself for not stopping when it was easier. The calm isn't worth the storm.
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