I'm supposed to be tapering but I took 4 benzos today 
already. I feel sick if I don't take them, they make me feel normal. I actually 
feel productive after taking benzos. Without them I feel like dying. I don't want to wean, I want to ramp up but I know I should 
be doing the opposite. They help me sometimes but I can't stay addicted 
to pills 
my whole life.
The calm they hit you with is irresistable. It's like nothing matters anymore. You can just focus on the good parts of life. Maybe listen 
to some music, write, work. It's all good and flows smoothly. Why can't life always be like this?
Sneed's Seed & Feed (Formerly Chuck's)
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Look babe I 110% get it. For subuxone they have the taper almost indistinguishable from staying on the same dose. Ie maybe you're on 2mg today but you're on 1.75 for the next 3 days.
Slowww is the name of the game. It's ofc tempting to frick up and take more and benzos in particular make u vulnerable to that desire.
I wouldn't worry too much about HOW LONG it takes you as long as EVENTUALLY you get off. If that means it takes 3 or 6 months, so what? Your life in 1 year will be way better.
Most people here don't have our proclivities and problems. I 100% do and I get it. You don't need to rush it, but you do need to be vigilant with your desires and your taper.
Benzos are so hard to quit bc the side effects fricking suck. Taper down slow enough that you barely feel it. Get a pill splitter. Do whatever it is you need to do to get through the next couple of months.
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How do I get these do you know a guy?
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I dunno about benzos but with everything else the best thing to do is to record exactly how much you take each day. Learn how to get some joy out of every time you go to bed having 10% less than the day before.
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