what is the most goblin butt shit u do?

!foidmoment

i'll loot and plunder the local village for various trinkets and gold

just in case I need it

I'm not sure if this counts, but I regularly click my light switches with my feet.

I'm tall and flexible so it's low effort. I think it started off with having my hands full and now I just do it for the fun of it

Like this:

Piss in the sink

I eat children

i steal your pee and run away with it while you think it's actually safe at the back of your freezer

I don't filter or treat my water when I hike. If God wanted me to die, I'd have shit myself to death long ago. I will know when He decides it is my time.

Sometimes i'll just spend a whole 2 weeks without buying groceries or even going outside, living on food reserves til the fridge is empty and all that's left are cans of goods i usually never eat and have no idea how or when did they got into my pantry and tubes of obscure condiments some south east asian room-mate left behind 8 months ago.

Just get some quickfix you degenerate jesus christ this website sometimes

i bought a bunch of gallon water bottles for my cats to drink because tap water in !dixie is fricking gross most of the time bc below sea level or something like that

and i left them in there for months buried under piles of fast food trash and now that it's hot outside a lot of the water has spilled out and gotten moldy and now my car smells like laundry that was left in an enclosed washing machine for weeks

I've been working remotely since COVID and suffice to say, I've been really pushing the boundaries of how long you can go without showering.

Any pedestal sink I see I gotta piss in it.

When I was a teen/young man, I did some real goblin shit any time I used a condom where I'd just piss into it until it ballooned up and shot off. I don't know why but i thought it was funny until it clogged up the potty one time.

Nothing

ok i do be pissin the bed off opiates but not a lot i swear

I control the global banking system

Sometimes I hold the door for pretty girls

I'm not afraid to piss in jugs on a road trip. Sometimes I'll bring an empty container of some sort with me.

Storing your piss is wild

wtf do u do that u need drug tests for

Feeling superior over both proud coomers and somethingawful users, because what's a goon to a goblin?

For a non-joke answer, I have a habit of mild autocannibalism (lip skin, fingernails, scabs, eyelashes, etc).

ur mentally ill

Get shitbulls for free off Facebook Marketplace and kill and eat them for food

You can just ask someone else for some of their pee. Drug testing can't tie it to your identity. Just make sure the person you get it from isn't pregnant.

I have wayyy more piss than that lying around. aged. various, brown to black. solids separating.

I don't need it either.

ive really pushed the limits on what should give a person food poisoning and never gotten it so i play pretty fast and loose with food safety when it's just me

when I cook for other people I bring out the restaurant level food prep

Killyt

My weird neighbor keeps leaving m&m tubes filled with pee lying around so I put a drop of THC oil in each one and drop them through an open window

>But then I'll find those mini m & ms tubes filled with my piss like at the bottom of my freezer

How much?

Why are you freezing it?

You're supposed to ferment it until it turns purple and then dump it onto gardens, ya silly doof.

After I run in the morning I strip and shower and instead of walking to my bedroom to get a pair of fresh undies I sometimes just bend over to pick up my short running shorts and wear them as undies for the rest of the day

How long is piss good for? I have been keeping a jar of mine in the garage freezer for a few years now.