The Downfall
It's like being sucked into the ground roughly, like being turned inside-out and seared at a white-hot temperature. It's unbearable, painful, exhausting. Your mind craves for an escape but there
is none because your mind is the source
of the suffering. It courses through your body, chills your bones, freezes your thoughts, and kills your happiness.
Life isn't worth living when you're in this state. Suicide
feels
like the only answer, being alive
feels
painful. You can't see two minutes into the future, it's just the agonizing present
bubbling within. So what's the cure?
The Cutting
Grab a razor blade
and place
the cold blade
on your skin. It's a quick
swipe, faster than swiping a credit card. All you see is white
flesh
for a brief moment
before
the blood
begins to rush. It feels
so good but it hurts so bad. You deserve the pain because you are a wicked
person. You're alone
in this world
and nobody loves you.
Fighting the Urge
Today I will not cut myself. It's only one day but it's all I can muster. I make no promises about tomorrow. I don't know if tomorrow will be better. The monster may return, the evil thoughts may possess me again, and I will have to fight
the giants of misery.
There will be tears but there
will be no blood.
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I honestly thought from the title this was going to be about bulking.
But seriously, how do you not realize cutting is fricking lame? You make a fricking mess after your "euphoric" pain high. "Oo your mind craves escape" "Oooh your mind is the source of the suffering"
"Oooh it chills your bones and freezes your thoughts" "Ooh I deserve the pain because I'm a wicked person" neighbor shut up you're not Arthas Menethil cutting yourself with Frostmourn
Like I heard this shit from my wife's friend who is/was a cutter, talking bout how its a form of controlling the pain. lol its a lie, you're not in control if you're dependent on it as an outlet. You lie to yourselves to chase a sensation to cleave flesh.
You're seriously better off just jerking off as your guilty negative wave emotion outlet. It's a lot less messier to clean up and your arms wont have to look like a tic-tac-toe tournament.
News flash, life is pain, we all have a shadow inside us, a darkness, and there is no obligation of love or companionship owed to you. It doesn't come out of thin air, it's what you have to make, and if you can't make it, then you make yourself. Pursue excellence. Master yourself.
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None of these words are in the Bible
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