https://youtube.com/watch?v=0Uhh62MUEic
I try to get out of the house. But when I am stuck at home the only thing that makes time move is drugs and alcohol.
It's tough knowing I will never meet or marry Utada Hikaru. I feel like she wrote her single One Last Kiss about me, but she doesn't respond to me dms.
I constantly tell my self I am not good enough and don't deserve what I do have as well as underplay what accomplishments I have made.
Am i being too hard on myself or should I just rope?
Anyone ever feel like this or am I just being a whiny cute twink?
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Ya and I just remind myself
that the feelings 
of unease with boredom is just my brain 
throwing 
a fit like a brat who's parents won't buy them a new toy at the store. "Oh you're going 
to make me feel physically gross 
now with stress hormones?? Fine then go ahead 
and pout." The brain 
aside from your mind (what is you) essentially has the mentation of an neurodivergent 
child 
and needs 
constant reinforcement to behave. You also need to understand our brains have been rotten 
by tech-induced instant gratification.
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