Once again relevant garristoss from four years ago

Listen to me, all right?

Ben Garrison is a hardcore motherlover, I've told you that before. He did time in Pelican Bay because he turned some ebony cupcake into a Pez dispenser back in his Klan days. I mean, the guy will slay you where you fricking stand just as soon as buy a round or clap you on the back.

Now, when I asked Ben to give me his opinion of the President Brandon, he said, "Johnny, I've turned out a lot of punks, but I've never seen a old yeller frick boy as soft as this punk. I mean I'd drive a shank into his butthole just to make a point or if I wanted his corn muffins and he wouldn't give 'em to me off his tray." I realized then that if we didn't start The Day of the Rope, Ben would fricking kill me. I saw it in his eyes.

He even told me as much onetime. My wife, she invited him over for dinner, and he shows up in a Klan coat stained with blood, shit, God knows what else. She screams and he sticks his hand up her skirt, kisses her, then pulls out a straight razor and says, "If your old man doesn't win this race war, I'm going to cut your fricking tits off before I even think about wasting the jewish chads."