this is how you know youre doing it right

I am writing in response to your request for my political opinion on "big tiddy goth girls". I must first state that upon receiving this electronic message, I had to direct one of my interns to look it up for me on the internet, as I am much to old and feeble minded to use a personal computing system. Upon finding out the meaning of this, I must say I am quite against women with large bosoms who dress and do their powder and rogue in the style of gothic. I believe this style of appearance too closely mimics that of satanism, and while the first amendment protects this, it is something I cannot morally support.

Lastly, you also mentioned something about "traps being gay", which was another term I had to have defined for me on the internet. Men who cross dress as women; it would still be having a homosexual relationship even if they had the appearance of a woman. So this time, I am actually in agreement with you on this.

This is perhaps one of the strangest requests for opinion I have ever received, and I am sorry to make this response brief, but I must make my hourly trip to Dairy Queen, as it is a good place for u kno what.

Sincerely,

Chuck Grassley