.webp?x=8 "Double Ds (hat) - double deez nuts lmao")
at his daughter's high standards
If your mother dumped me for the reasons you're dumping boyfriends, you wouldn't exist, my child.
Yes, your mother and I are very happy, now, in our late 40s. But trust me, it wasn't always this way. We've been more or less happy with each other for the last 15 years, but those first ten years together weren't all lollipops and unicorns, dear.
You dumped your last boyfriend, who lived with you in the apartment in our basement, and whom I'd gotten to know really well and like... you dumped him because he was Googling the names of his old high school crushes. Kid, there's nothing wrong with a guy doing that. I did that. I still do that. I haven't spoken to my crush in over 28 years now, but that doesn't mean I don't remember her.
I'm not cheating on your mother when I Google the names of girls I used to know and like when I was in high school. I'm just being curious about how their lives turned out. I do it for my old guy friends, too. It's normal.
Sweetheart, any guy you date is also going to still watch porn while in a relationship with you. There's nothing wrong with that, either. It's none of your business, which is why you don't know this, but your mom and I watch porn together (gasp).
Oh, and she Googles the names of her old high school crushes sometimes, too.
Child, I love you, so please take some advice from me when you find your next boyfriend: don't expect him to forget everything from his past, just because he's with you now. And don't expect him to stop looking at other women. There's nothing wrong with looking. Your mother and I both still look at other people. We just don't touch.
We're married, not dead.
Edit: I deleted the part about my usual password being my old crush's unique last name and her basketball jersey number, because apparently that's "weird" to a lot of people. It's been my password since the mid 1990s, when I was still in high school, and well before I met my wife. I like it because it's a phonetic spelling of a non-English surname, so it doesn't show up in any dictionary. Plus, yes, it reminds me of my high school days, which I enjoyed. And yes, my wife knows the password and what it is. She doesn't care, because she knows its harmless.
imagine having a redditor as your father
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neighbor needs better opsec
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