at his daughter's high standards
If your mother dumped me for the reasons you're dumping boyfriends, you wouldn't exist, my child.
Yes, your mother and I are very happy, now, in our late 40s. But trust me, it wasn't always this way. We've been more or less happy with each other for the last 15 years, but those first ten years together weren't all lollipops and unicorns, dear.
You dumped your last boyfriend, who lived with you in the apartment in our basement, and whom I'd gotten to know really well and like... you dumped him because he was Googling the names of his old high school crushes. Kid, there's nothing wrong with a guy doing that. I did that. I still do that. I haven't spoken to my crush in over 28 years now, but that doesn't mean I don't remember her.
I'm not cheating on your mother when I Google the names of girls I used to know and like when I was in high school. I'm just being curious about how their lives turned out. I do it for my old guy friends, too. It's normal.
Sweetheart, any guy you date is also going to still watch porn while in a relationship with you. There's nothing wrong with that, either. It's none of your business, which is why you don't know this, but your mom and I watch porn together (gasp).
Oh, and she Googles the names of her old high school crushes sometimes, too.
Child, I love you, so please take some advice from me when you find your next boyfriend: don't expect him to forget everything from his past, just because he's with you now. And don't expect him to stop looking at other women. There's nothing wrong with looking. Your mother and I both still look at other people. We just don't touch.
We're married, not dead.
Edit: I deleted the part about my usual password being my old crush's unique last name and her basketball jersey number, because apparently that's "weird" to a lot of people. It's been my password since the mid 1990s, when I was still in high school, and well before I met my wife. I like it because it's a phonetic spelling of a non-English surname, so it doesn't show up in any dictionary. Plus, yes, it reminds me of my high school days, which I enjoyed. And yes, my wife knows the password and what it is. She doesn't care, because she knows its harmless.
imagine having a redditor as your father
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
This was originally posted on reddit years ago as one of those Southern euphemisms for being condescending, as a jab on Southern hospitality not actually being so hospitable. Then redditors turned around and adopted it like it was their own.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Sweet summer child is from throneshit
it’s not a 
phrase. 
picked it up because they absorb any and all pop culture memes
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
That would explain why I never heard it in real life. There is a southern phrase redditors mocked for being an example of passive aggressive southern hospitality but I do not recall what would it have been if not summer child
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
That one?
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
It's "bless your/their heart"
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
Hate to break it to you but referencing the seasons is universal even francine from les miserables said something similar
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
The phrase only makes sense in the context of game of thrones.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
This is real life come on
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Easy/hard is not fully what the phrase means though. Seasons in GoT last for years, so even a peasant child born in summer could spend their entire life without knowing true hardship. And it's not just the cold, winter is when the undead rise up and the continent must band together to fight them off, otherwise be genocided.
So in that context, a summer child means complete naivete/innocence, as a child who has yet to experience hardship/years of winter/war. If the phrase were just about real life seasons, it wouldn't mean those things because children experiences both summer and winter every year.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Game of thrones stole this from reality. In reality the summer is relatively easy (spring is planting fall is harvest summer is frick off time and winter is cold and hard).
The phrase has been around way longer then even british people fricking their sisters
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
In case it couldn't be more clear:
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
But it's current usage and meaning derives from GoT. When you just say "easy vs hard" you literally described a definition different than how it's used.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
Redditors love to point out that the southern “bless your heart” is used sarcastically like they are dropping some profound knowledge on you, but what they don’t know is that it is also used sincerely too.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
This annoys the shit out of me. In my family, it was always said unironically to convey empathy/sympathy.
I hate
yankeesRedditors.Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
"What? Dad i wasnt born in the summer"
"Uhhh, its an expression?"
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
neighbor needs better opsec
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
He probably notices she's a 5 with the standards of a 10.
There's a lot of it about and it's a path that leads to lots of 'situationships' with Chads and, eventually, cats.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
“One time a 9/10 let me suck his peepee in the bathroom at a frat party after his girlfriend passed out. Somehow this means that I shouldn’t accept any less than a 9/10 that’s completely faithful and committed to me.”
I’ve had to explain to so many of my foid friends that a ton of scrote’s only standards for fricking something is literally just having a hole and being able to keep a secret. Just because he’ll stick his peepee in you doesn’t even mean he’d ever consider interacting with you again, let alone having a real relationship with you.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
"move out b-word"
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
This is possible, but I assume anyone who says "child" that much is Patrick Tomlinson tier stupid.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
I might have to break into his accounts just because he's making the hunt for his password sound like a fun riddle
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Gotta be bait right?
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Frickers gotta be desperate these days
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
Pathetic
Pornsick
Cuck
Pathetic pornsick cuck redditor
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
normal fathers fantasize about fricking their daughters, reddit fathers fantasize abut getting rejected by their daughters.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Neighbor what
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
im to grossed out tbh bb
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame. I wanted to see how many drama foids had daddy issues.
Yea I think it's most of them too
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
i cant have daddy issues bb my dad dead 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
lmao, best one I've heard since "i cant have daddy issues, I never knew him"
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
I’m glad the boomer mentality of “you have to stay with gross moids because uuuh you just gotta” is dying. Unsurprisingly I’d rather be single than date someone with tendencies I find grossly unattractive and many women feel the same.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
woman moment
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
Imagine not being able to talk to your daughter so you just get on the computer and write "An open letter to my daughter" and then you post it on reddit, which she will never ever go to so there is literally zero chance she will see your dumb fricking shit you wrote.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Not every scrote googles their old crushes especially into their 40’s, wtf. Also, stop letting dudes shack up with your daughter in your basement.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
did Fatrick write this
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Snapshots:
undelete.pullpush.io
archive.org
ghostarchive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
He's got a point. I hope that one day I have a daughter and she's picky about men, and then one day far in the future she tracks down my social media accounts and finds this comment and realizes that I was playing 4D chess with her before she was even born.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Nice post, bro! I posted it to twitter.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context