at his daughter's high standards
If your mother dumped me for the reasons you're dumping boyfriends, you wouldn't exist, my child.
Yes, your mother and I are very happy, now, in our late 40s. But trust me, it wasn't always this way. We've been more or less happy with each other for the last 15 years, but those first ten years together weren't all lollipops and unicorns, dear.
You dumped your last boyfriend, who lived with you in the apartment in our basement, and whom I'd gotten to know really well and like... you dumped him because he was Googling the names of his old high school crushes. Kid, there's nothing wrong with a guy doing that. I did that. I still do that. I haven't spoken to my crush in over 28 years now, but that doesn't mean I don't remember her.
I'm not cheating on your mother when I Google the names of girls I used to know and like when I was in high school. I'm just being curious about how their lives turned out. I do it for my old guy friends, too. It's normal.
Sweetheart, any guy you date is also going to still watch porn while in a relationship with you. There's nothing wrong with that, either. It's none of your business, which is why you don't know this, but your mom and I watch porn together (gasp).
Oh, and she Googles the names of her old high school crushes sometimes, too.
Child, I love you, so please take some advice from me when you find your next boyfriend: don't expect him to forget everything from his past, just because he's with you now. And don't expect him to stop looking at other women. There's nothing wrong with looking. Your mother and I both still look at other people. We just don't touch.
We're married, not dead.
Edit: I deleted the part about my usual password being my old crush's unique last name and her basketball jersey number, because apparently that's "weird" to a lot of people. It's been my password since the mid 1990s, when I was still in high school, and well before I met my wife. I like it because it's a phonetic spelling of a non-English surname, so it doesn't show up in any dictionary. Plus, yes, it reminds me of my high school days, which I enjoyed. And yes, my wife knows the password and what it is. She doesn't care, because she knows its harmless.
imagine having a redditor as your father
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This was originally posted on reddit years ago as one of those Southern euphemisms for being condescending, as a jab on Southern hospitality not actually being so hospitable. Then redditors turned around and adopted it like it was their own.
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Sweet summer child is from throneshit
it’s not a 
phrase. 
picked it up because they absorb any and all pop culture memes
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Hate to break it to you but referencing the seasons is universal even francine from les miserables said something similar
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The phrase only makes sense in the context of game of thrones.
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This is real life come on
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Easy/hard is not fully what the phrase means though. Seasons in GoT last for years, so even a peasant child born in summer could spend their entire life without knowing true hardship. And it's not just the cold, winter is when the undead rise up and the continent must band together to fight them off, otherwise be genocided.
So in that context, a summer child means complete naivete/innocence, as a child who has yet to experience hardship/years of winter/war. If the phrase were just about real life seasons, it wouldn't mean those things because children experiences both summer and winter every year.
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Game of thrones stole this from reality. In reality the summer is relatively easy (spring is planting fall is harvest summer is frick off time and winter is cold and hard).
The phrase has been around way longer then even british people fricking their sisters
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In case it couldn't be more clear:
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But it's current usage and meaning derives from GoT. When you just say "easy vs hard" you literally described a definition different than how it's used.
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That would explain why I never heard it in real life. There is a southern phrase redditors mocked for being an example of passive aggressive southern hospitality but I do not recall what would it have been if not summer child
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That one?
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It's "bless your/their heart"
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Redditors love to point out that the southern “bless your heart” is used sarcastically like they are dropping some profound knowledge on you, but what they don’t know is that it is also used sincerely too.
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This annoys the shit out of me. In my family, it was always said unironically to convey empathy/sympathy.
I hate
yankeesRedditors.Jump in the discussion.
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"What? Dad i wasnt born in the summer"
"Uhhh, its an expression?"
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