so i was sitting in the back row of my lecture and i realized my fly was unzipped. i was trying to fix it up before anyone saw me. however, my zipper was caught in the boxers, and it wouldn't move no matter how hard i tugged. this was creating a commotion, and these 3 girls were starting to stare. so, i started making grunting noises to indicate i was trying to fix my pants. however, it seemed like it made it worse because they started whispering and more people started to stare. so eventually i just gave up and walked out the room. when i came back, everyone kept giving me weird looks. i am really sorry for today and i just wanted to clear the air.
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You did the right thing
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when faced with an uncomfortable situation grunting helps assert dominance
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you should have cranked one out if everyone's going to think you're jerking it anyway
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WHY NOT?
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Next time just staple your pants' fly together under the table. You may bleed a bit, but at least it will be less noisy.
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