On my 4th or 6th imperial stout, so I apologize.

As a bears fan in Wisconsin, I get shit all the time. I literally had an old co worker, one who had been retired for two months, call my store up just so he could tell me the bears suck (which is admittedly hilarious, but still).

Just once. JUST FRICKING ONCE. Beat this fricking team. I don't care how you do it. Pay a rebellious marching band seven figures to storm the field every field goal attempt by the pack. Train pigeons to attack the quarterback (at least we would get a sack). Draft several million nano bots, enough to form the shape of a human. Develop teleportation devices. Sign Jesus as an undrafted free agent.

Take a dump in Matt LaFleur's coffee and give him typhoid. Tell the US government that there is oil under lambeau. Convince LaFleur to hold a practice over an Indian burial ground. Get the pack wasted, put on some Slayer, and throw a mosh pit. Drive a car into the practice facility. Throw stinkbombs into the locker room at halftime. Take a second dump in LaFleur's coffee.

Convince Love to join a cult. Make a rainbow in the sky and tell Eberflus where the pot of gold is right before kickoff. Remind Getsy that a football isn't actually in the shape of a foot before kickoff. Move the furniture around so neither Getsy or Eberflus can get to the field (since neither of them can obviously see shit). Sign Rodgers just so he can slap Getsy.

I just want to be able to talk shit. For once.

Why did the first NFL play I ever watched happen to be the opening kickoff of the ‘06 Super Bowl…………..

Utterly pathetic. If I only saw the 1st Bears game where we got destroyed by the Packers, to our final game where we again get destroyed by the Packers, it looks like zero progress has been made. Time for a brand new regime.

I have celiac disease and a host of food allergies that makes eating out a nightmare. Somehow, Bears fandom is still the worst thing my parents handed down to me.

4 wins in the last 31 tries.

The “Bears still suck chants”, I can't do this anymore. Justin is a great guy and tough as heck, but I don't think the Bears can win a Super Bowl with him. I want Poles to put his balls on the table and take Williams 1st Overall. Williams could easily be a huge bust, but what if he's the cocky butthole who is a Top 5 QB for the next 10+ years? Love is just going to get better from here and it's time to fight fire with fire. It's time to stop going the safe route and get uncomfortable imo. If we don't, I feel like it'll be the same old Bears getting dominated by Green Bay and their superior QB the next 10 years with maybe a couple of division round losses if we're lucky. Regardless of what he does, in Poles we trust.

Packers didn't punt once the entire game.

But this defense is elite right?