Za'Darius Smith got a Lions Super Bowl ring made - Acme Packing Company

The Lions have been the perpetual little brother of the NFC North for my entire life and basically all the lives of my recent ancestors. They had 2 good seasons. At first I almost liked seeing them as an underdog story. But them and their fans and especially their "fans" (yeah I remember all those half filled stadiums for the past 3 decades) got uppity fast enough to give me whiplash. God bless the Washington Commies for slapping them in the peepee. I'd rather see the Vikings succeed than any of the Detroit Lions' 4/5ths bandwaggoning butt fanbase ever have a moment of happiness.

Inshallah, Ben Johnson and Aaron Glenn leaving will usher in another dark age for the Lions, or as they know it, a very normal dusky age. The Ryan Gosling adaptation of "Goff" will be about someone who never quite made it.