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Constantly accused of being male or MtF transgender bc my voice is deep

https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/14cdizr/constantly_accused_of_being_male_or_mtf

Venting mostly.

I am a cisgender female. I dress relatively feminine and have natural curves. I don't feel like I behave or seem like I'm particularly masculine. But, I've always had a deeper voice since I was a kid. This has brought on a lot of difficulties and rude behavior from people who were bewildered at the idea that a girl could have a deeper voice. I already struggle with interacting with people to an extent because I'm shy and get sexually harassed often, but the ones who hear me speak and can't handle it make me feel sick. Some examples:

  • When I was in 6th grade I asked for a classmate's phone number to chat in an effort to make friends. When I called, her father answered and blew the frick up at both of us because he thought I was a boy. Classmate showed me to her dad like... six months later when there was an event at school. I'd about blocked it out of my mind at that point; he had a weird sheepish grin and weakly said sorry.

  • Middle school is of course awful for many people; for me it sucked being mocked and treated like a pariah so often just because I had a deeper voice and gave a shit about school. I wanted to transfer schools but all of the eligible schools in my district were pretty awful tbh, and I felt like I couldn't confide in my parents. We were never really close or discussed feelings unless it was in a more negative light, and I generally had the mindset that I have to endure things that I don't want to no matter how miserable I am. So ultimately I became cynical and withdrawn, my grades fell, and they wrote me off as being spoiled and lazy with a bad attitude, while peers would call me negative. Lots of angry crying!

  • Small children often flat out exclaim I sound like a boy or ask if I am one. If I deny being one they will not believe me. If I try to joke about it, it's still embarrassing and I don't want to be mean to a little kid or otherwise confuse them about gender shit and possibly lead them to make bad assumptions.

  • I've had parents stop in their tracks and stare at me when I was in high school. One, albeit trying to be nice, remarked about my 'smooth baritone' voice.

  • If I go to bars there have regularly been guys who ask if I am transgender, usually after trying to flirt with me. Sometimes I would go to gay bars and get asked this, and they're nice about it, but definitely had been told 'your body is great, those are good hormones/implants' until I corrected them.

  • When I went on a trip with friends last year and went into a bathroom after a bit of wine tasting, I approached the stalls and realized they were both occupied. I quietly whispered to myself 'oop, both occupied'. One of the women in the stalls immediately loudly said "WHAT? IS THERE A GUY IN HERE??" so I replied "NO I JUST HAVE A DEEP VOICE" and she went "oh", and a woman who was at the sink just kind of chuckled and said "come on, remember diversity" or something along those lines. Accusing lady gave me a nervous smile when she left the stall and I just scoffed at her.

  • Phone calls suck, even if I say my very feminine name and use feminine prefixes and pronouns, I've had callers insist on calling me 'sir' or seem confused that I am referring to myself and am not speaking on behalf of myself. I work remotely and even though I've been on the same team with the same people for six months, the project manager randomly referred to me by saying 'his ticket' last week.

But yeah I don't know. I'm just tired of it. I try not to take it personally. It's not like I sound like Dr Girlfriend from Venture Brothers. These people question my gender/s*x more than I ever thought to. I've tried to train my voice to sound a bit higher, but even when I use my 'higher' voice then it also sounds kind of off to others I guess, as I've had people straight up laugh in my face or ask if I have strep throat when they would hear me speak in this tone.

That being said, I've had people compliment my voice too and describe it as sexy or a radio voice, so it hasn't been a completely awful experience, but it seems like it's often a weird lust for or an extreme hatred of my voice when indifference would be great.

tldr i'm a cis woman, my voice is very deep and people have been weird/mean about it my entire life and now i'm crazy, why can't they chill out and mind their gd business ugh

69
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One of the women in the stalls immediately loudly said "WHAT? IS THERE A GUY IN HERE??" so I replied "NO I JUST HAVE A DEEP VOICE" and she went "oh", and a woman who was at the sink just kind of chuckled and said "come on, remember diversity" or something along those lines.

:roflmao:

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Remember: foids deserve this

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I'd definitely flash my peepee if someone accused me of being a ftm but foids can't even do that :marseylaugh: I stand with ukraine's :marseytrain2:ification

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I'd definitely flash my peepee if someone accused me of being a ftm

:#marseydisgust:

!moidmoment

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I'd probably r*pe them too to show them who the real man is.

:marseybuffbipoc:

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Hindpoo moment

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how deep does your voice have to be when she was going through stuff like this in fricking sixth grade? Most foids don't even have periods yet or hit puberty.

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