woman falls for the doctorate meme, but her motherly instincts take over

In the last year I've known women who had their first child at 38, 40 (x2) 42, and 44.

all of them are rdrama users.

I say this with kindness, so please take it as such, but I think your problem is that you have anxiety, not that you want kids.

31 is young and there is objectively plenty of time for you to achieve love and family in this decade of your life. Also, if you look around (irl, on Reddit, social media) you'll see myriad women your age in your same position. You'll also see many women who WERE you in the past, and have successfully found love and had kids.

Let that reality encourage you. Objectively, you could give up dating while in your program, finish, move wherever your career then takes you, then start dating, and marry and have a kid, before age 35. That's not even unreasonable. Love doesn't take as long as you think. And, even if all this takes till you're 45, YOU'RE STILL YOUNG AND ALL THIS IS STILL POSSIBLE.

(Also, just one more side note. Don't think of “dating” as this chore that requires apps and “meeting people” and newness. Join a community. Find like minded people with a hobby or interest in common. You will organically find love and it'll be easy).

Take a beat. Watch S*x and the City and see those fabulous women be and have absolutely everything at any age, even through the struggle. You'll be ok, I know it. I hope you come to know it too.

31 isn't that young if you want to date for a while, get engaged/married, then have a baby. OP wants to go slowly - that's fine! She may not have time. Women can go into menopause at any time. She may struggle to conceive. She is right to be thinking about how babies/a serious commitment will or could fit into her life plan

31 is young to be this stressed about her fertility.

31 isn't that young considering she wants to be partnered (which can take some years), wants to take it slow, doesn't know if she has any conceiving issues, and also needs to fit in her grad studies. she can have children later (my mum had me at 39!) but it's not a guarantee. i think OP is smart to be considering what her timeline means for her wish of having children.

that's incel speak, sweatie

The world's on fire, homes are out of reach of most people, people can barely afford to eat, climate change is destroying crops, fascism is growing in the Western world and you want to bring children into this mess because???

WARNING.

I noticed you're in a red pill women's sub. Probably trying to promote the idea that "women who go to school are sad because they're used up, single and want babies but they're too old" so that you or your ilk can then post a screenshot of this post as an example for some stupid red pill fascist YouTube channel as "proof" that what women want is to be subjugated and pregnant.

idk what this redditor's talking about. the op only has posts in twox, trueoffmychest and askwomenover30, which are in no way "red pilled"

realistically this is one of the best times to be alive in human history! The world is obviously full of problems and I respect your opinion, but I am hopeful about life and the future

I don't respect your blind optimism to drag a child into this mess because it's the done thing.

Frankly, I find it irresponsible and hateful towards your potential children that you're putting your head in the sand while they're going to be the ones that have to suffer through what scientists have been warning us about for decades.

You're honestly being incredibly ridiculous and your pessimism is extremely toxic. The only hope we have in the world is collectively our future children.

this one's a prepper

two more weeks until the collapse

My mother had me at 41.

My grandmother had my father at 50… he did very well in life.

I wouldn't be too concerned unless your family has fertility issues (cysts, early menopause etc).

That being said, I understand your dilemma with finding someone. It seems harder to find compatible partners at an earlier age now. I think online dating has simultaneously made it easier for people to connect and harder for people to find those who may have otherwise waited.

>My mother had me at 41

>redditor