It's actually vile how men treat you unless they deem you attractive. : TwoXChromosomes

Woman gets upset about not being noticed, gets upset about being noticed later on after putting in effort to be noticed.

OP responds to quite a few of the most downvoted comments. Many comments have been jannied.

Kinda want to get this off my chest, but… Went to this house party I was invited to, it was a small gathering and I'm the new friend in an established group of friends.

I turned up with my wavy hair all tussled because I didn't have time to blow dry it properly, so car blow dried it, no makeup… Besides maybe mascara… Everyone was quite nice, and introducing one another.

There was this one guy though, in particular who doesn't have the best reputation, completely dodging me all night, not even asking my name, or introducing himself. Basically in a, “I'm to good to talk to you” particular way. Now I shouldn't care what he thinks, because of his poor reputation … Context: (“Tik Tok'er”) that has young girls thirsting over him, million likes, etc, brags about the women he pulls… Even though he's 25, dating a 19 year old…

But it immediately just flashed me back in High School, where guys would treat you awfully, or wouldn't even acknowledge your existence unless you were attracted to them.

Today we all went again (another small gathering party), and he was there again. This time I actually had my makeup done, my hair blow dried, and a cute casual outfit.

Immediately that's when he decides to come and approach me, asking what was my name, etc, and acknowledging my existence.

I don't know if anyone else has experienced behaviour like this, but it's quite vile, and honestly sad.

Reminder: This is a subreddit for women. "Not all men" and "Women do it too" posts from men are not ok.

Treat him the same way he treated you the first meeting and just brush him off and ignore him.

I do! I avoid him all the time. I feel so sorry for his young girlfriend. Such a sweet girl, with a horrible dude. (OP)

Or maybe the guy was just playing the aloof, hard to get type. Or maybe he just shy. Or maybe we all use eachother when we want something from eachother.

I'm sure you treat guys you're not interested in just like that guy treated you, we all do it. We'll probably have a handful of relationships in our lives where the person we're attracted to feels similarly towards us and that feeling lasts enough for us to turn a blind eye to their shortcomings enough to build something together.

We simply don't have the time or energy to invest in every person we meet, unless you're the extrovert, social butterfly type, in which case your attention is not the type romantically interested people actually want. [jannied]

It never ceases to amaze me how many men will come in here and give excuses for other men acting like trash, and the second we return the favour we're actually the aggressors, actually actually

Don't force your "turn the other cheek" nonsense on us. Go lecture the butthole. And kindly buzz off until you understand the meaning of "double standard"

I just have to put it into perspective, cause I find the phrasing troublesome.

You go to a party, "everyone was quite nice", one guy ignores you = men are vile.

Incel perspective: I go to a party, everyone is quite nice, one girl whom I find attractive ignores me = women are vile. [jannied]

It's not just that he wasn't very welcoming or nice.. it's that he treated her differently (seemingly) depending on how cute she looked. If he always ignored her then I doubt this post would even exist.

The problem is that you make just as many general and broad claims across the board as any misogynist who has also had many individual, bad experiences with women. None of it equates to the majority of the population of the opposite s*x being that way. It is dishonest at best, and alienating at worst and will only help create a bigger divide than there already is. Your phrasing was literally that "everyone was being nice." But that one guy was a jackass and now men are vile. You single out the one bad experience, amongst all the rest and highlight it as the overarching experience you had, while in reality your experience was vastly more positive than negative.

Now, we are all victims of this, and we all hyper focus on the negatives over the positives in our lives. Streamers are an excellent example of this, 95% of the comments in the chat are positive and praising. One chatter says something stupid, the streamer will typically single out that individual, pull them out and make some sweeping general statement about how horrible people online are. I can relate to this in my life, on so many levels, because if there's one that's already way more critical about myself than anyone else, it's me. I have had to learn to take a step back to look at the bigger picture and put these individual instances into perspective, as to not drive myself mad. What is my overall experience with people? Is it truly majority negative, or is the negative experience just the one that I put the most focus on? [jannied]

The gaslighting and victim blaming is hilarious in this. My post has nothing to do with “incel” garbage. I'm not trying to hookup with anyone, etc.

I am disgusted by the mere fact that I am not treated like a human, but dog waste on someone's shoe, solely because I don't look “attracted enough” for a man.

Which is a common behaviour that women have to deal with from men, in our teen years, and adult life.

I didn't look “homeless” either, I just wasn't wearing makeup, which is disgusting to be treated that way.

It's really not hard to be polite and kind. It's bare minimum.

The amount of triggered men on my post trying to take over and or make their own twisted events is alarming. (OP)

Why do u care about not getting noticed by a idiot guy? You alredy knew that he only dates young and pretty girls, so why do u have some kind of expectation on him? Just get over it.

Because people should be kind, and polite. It's bare minimum. Treating people like dog waste on their shoe, is absolutely rancid. Behaviour like this deserves to be called out, because many women go through it even in their teen years. Being disrespected by boys, or men, treated awfully because they aren't the top tier pretty girls.

It's vile behaviour, plain and simple. (OP)

This is just an incel talking point repackaged.

No. All men think this way

Do you like the guy? I feel like you like the guy.

Why are you thinking about how he in particular treats you? I think it's because you like the guy.

You see, I think it's the same in both directions: Attractive men tend to be buttholes (not all, but many) because they have many women competing for their attention, hence, they will pick and choose. And invest time only in the ones they are attracted to.

Attractive women tend to be rude and mean (not all, but many) because almost every man they meet wants to frick. So they "filter" the men they are not attracted to. And invest their time in the attractive guys that aren't creepy.

It's a normal human thing. You can't expect people to not have eyes or instincts. I doubt you are interested in talking to every single person around you all the time.

I stopped reading at your first sentence. I do not like the guy nor is he my type. I think men treating people who they deem unattractive cruelly is disgusting behaviour. (OP)

Yes this is common with men unfortunately. I agree it's vile. It's a byproduct of them not seeing women as complete/real people.

This is not a gendered thing at all. If anything it's more prevalent in the opposite case. Attractive women also treat unattractive and average men with less respect and will avoid them. Average and unattractive men on the other hand tend to treat women who are in their own league with respect while average and unattractive women seem to have less respect for and avoid men in their own league.

Both are bad. All people should be treated equal no matter their appearance. But to claim this is common with men and not women is just dishonest. It is common for both genders but more common for women.

The OP could literally be a genderswapped post from an incel sub. Like this is a very stereotypical incel complaint. They often express frustration at this exact same phenomena though usually they are complaining about women in their own league (as opposed to much more attractive in the case of OP) not treating them with the same respect they treat attractive men. [jannied]

This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. What the frick.

Incels = women only care about looks. I will never get a girlfriend (that I'm entitled to) 100% because of my looks. It has nothing to do with how I act. Women ONLY care about looks. I hate them all. Ropefuel.

OP = wow, has anyone else noticed that men ignore you when they don't find you attractive?

You are so fricking wrong, I can't even imagine how anyone could have made this insane leap. Work on your critical thinking skills - PLEASE. Think about what you're saying for more than one second.

I'm reporting your comment and I hope you get banned. These trash opinions need to stop being spewed everywhere., It's disguising. Go spew your shit to incels.

I'm sorry my statement enraged you so much that was not my intention at all. My statement was accurate. This post literally could be reposted, word for word, with only the genders swapped, and it would be a very normal post on an incel sub. I used to debate incels on purplepilldeabge and they made this identical complaint regularly. It was the thing they whines about more often than anything else.

It's understandable in both cases. Treating people with more or less respect based on their physical appearance is disgusting. No matter their gender. I genuinely do not understand why that angers you so much? No one should be treated with less respect because they are less attractive.

Please think about why my comment enraged you so much. All people deserve empathy no matter their gender. It's wrong when women are disrespected because they are deemed less attractive but it's also wrong when the same happens to men. It's sad that you guys can't empathize with eachother when dealing with the exact same experience.

Please do some introspection to see why me pointing this out pissed you off so much. You must have realized it was an accurate observation and just really wish that wasn't true. [jannied]

Lolol “my statement was very accurate”

Yeah… according to you, right?

Edit: Also, this is very mansplain-y

Weird how much you complain about the male gaze and now that you don't have it...

Please tell me you blew him off! In a very dismissive tone!

I'm too passive but I just gave him the same energy back, by avoiding him all night and not interacting with him. (OP)

I was going to say-also vile how they treat you when they find you attractive.

Match that energy, ladies. I treat all men I meet like they are beneath me.👸

Bonus threads by OP:

Have you guys ever dealt with hot and cold behaviour and then stalking you? During No Contact.

They never post the new girlfriend?

Does anybody else always feel awful seeing people live their perfect lives through social media?